TPO 17 – Independent: A/D? Most advertisements make products seem much better than they really are.

Most companies, nowadays, sell their products by encouraging customers with advertisements. The competitions among brands lead ads in which the products are exaggerated, and they show their products better than they really are. I firmly agree with the previous statement, and I will mention some of my thoughts.

Firstly, the competition among the fast-growing fast-food restaurant chains pushes the companies to display their meal, preferably bigger in size and delicious in appearance. For example, in between McDonald's and Burger King, there is an inevitable fight, because both sell the same type of fast-food, hamburgers. Corresponding the intention on attracting more customers, these two companies, rather than increasing the quality of their meals, tend to display meals exaggerated in their advertisements. In fact, the reality doesn't meet with the expectation because of that overstated advertisements. Personally, I always feel disappointed, and I deceive those delicious and big hamburgers when I go there to eat.

Secondly, most advertisements ignore the cons, rather than explaining the features of the products in an unbiased manner. The beauty companies, especially, produce new products and represents only the pros of them to encourage the customers for buying. Thus, because of this misleading, people who have allergenic skin suffers from products whose cons are not provided in their advertisements. My brother, for instance, had to deal with a chemical, which he is allergic, in the past. In fact, the company should state information about the ingredients of the product that may give allergenic reaction with the body.

In conclusion, competition creates an environment, for large companies, where the advertisement sector become important for attracting new customers. Thus, to win the fight, these companies exaggerate their products and mislead their customers. At this point, the expectations are not met with reality. Lastly, people may disappointed, even suffer from, with cons that are not displayed in these advertisements

Votes
Average: 7.6 (1 vote)
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 132, Rule ID: ADJECTIVE_IN_ATTRIBUTE[1]
Message: A more concise phrase may lose no meaning and sound more powerful.
Suggestion: bigger
...anies to display their meal, preferably bigger in size and delicious in appearance. For exampl...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 525, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...ir advertisements. In fact, the reality doesnt meet with the expectation because of th...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 100, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in an unbiased manner" with adverb for "unbiased"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...explaining the features of the products in an unbiased manner. The beauty companies, especially, prod...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, firstly, lastly, may, really, second, secondly, so, thus, for example, for instance, in conclusion, in fact

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 7.0 15.1003584229 46% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 9.8082437276 41% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 13.8261648746 58% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.0286738351 82% => OK
Pronoun: 28.0 43.0788530466 65% => OK
Preposition: 43.0 52.1666666667 82% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 8.0752688172 149% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1755.0 1977.66487455 89% => OK
No of words: 309.0 407.700716846 76% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.67961165049 4.8611393121 117% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.1926597562 4.48103885553 94% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.21562035748 2.67179642975 120% => OK
Unique words: 180.0 212.727598566 85% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.582524271845 0.524837075471 111% => OK
syllable_count: 516.6 618.680645161 84% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.51630824373 112% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 9.59856630824 52% => OK
Article: 6.0 3.08781362007 194% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.86738351254 161% => OK
Preposition: 9.0 4.94265232975 182% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.6003584229 83% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 18.0 20.1344086022 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 32.697840738 48.9658058833 67% => OK
Chars per sentence: 103.235294118 100.406767564 103% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.1764705882 20.6045352989 88% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.70588235294 5.45110844103 123% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 11.8709677419 67% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.85842293907 156% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.150412428603 0.236089414692 64% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0490287563184 0.076458572812 64% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0791188722504 0.0737576698707 107% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.107788279613 0.150856017488 71% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0876512014371 0.0645574589148 136% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.4 11.7677419355 122% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 44.75 58.1214874552 77% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 10.1575268817 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 15.37 10.9000537634 141% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.57 8.01818996416 107% => OK
difficult_words: 79.0 86.8835125448 91% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 10.002688172 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.0537634409 92% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.