I agree with the statement that advertisements give us the better impression of products than they are in real. Advertisements are divided by three ways such as television, pictures and celebrities. I am supporting my opinion with following passage.
First of all, I state that visual effect on tv appearance is effecting our expectation. For example, the TV commercial about vacuum cleaner has shown us how the product could clean up your room. The company sells the vacuum cleaner would like to tell that how strong it is so items are clean up dirty carpet and pick tons of hair from the flooring. At the same time, the vacuum cleaner was flying in the air because the company tried to let everyone know how light it is. Actually, it is impossible to fly so obviously tv commercial enlarged the possibility of products.
Second, about typical advertisements as pictures with catch copies. I worked on Japanese newspaper company so I created many sentences to express products skills and talented. For instance, there is a brand new game soft and the company would like to advertise as same as one they launched before. Therefore, they used same sentences which are known. If they use specific words to explain that game, people could realize that is related to the old one thus I would think that the better. However, the company do not tell the details of contents because they make people feel more skeptical. In other words, more curious.
Lastly, the company uses celebrities such as models or idols. In my generation, we use Instagram and Blogs so it is really easy to follow and imitate people we like. For example, there are many people considered as influencer so the company give them products for free and the influencers post on their SNS with pictures and reviews. Nowadays, we search the review online before buying stuff to make sure what kind of efficient we could obtain. Moreover, if famous model use the products to get skinny, people believe in as long as the model is in fit. Therefore, I would say that we are effected by the celebrities on advertisements.
All of considered, I think the advertisements make products much better than they really are.
- TOEFL Official Guide - Practice Test 2 - Integrated Writing - Professors on TV 3
- Some people suggest that it is wrong to give money to beggars asking for money on the street, while others think that it is the right thing to do. Which point of view do you think is correct, and why? 70
- In 1939 David O Selznick produced a film of Margaret Mitchell s Pulitzer Prize winning novel Gone with the Wind The movie proved to be among the most important in the history of world cinema To this day in fact it remains the American box office c 90
- Some parents forbid young children from owning smart phones (cell phones with Internet access), while others disagree and believe that they are important tools for keeping in touch. Which point of view do you think is better, and why? 70
- TOEFL Official Guide - Practice Test 2 - Integrated Writing - Professors on TV 3
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 208, Rule ID: MASS_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: 'sells'.
Suggestion: sells
...t could clean up your room. The company sell the vacuum cleaner would like to tell t...
^^^^
Line 5, column 115, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun sentence seems to be countable; consider using: 'many sentences'.
Suggestion: many sentences
...Japanese newspaper company so I created many sentence to express products skills and talented...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 338, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'known'.
Suggestion: known
...ore, they used same sentences which are know. If they use specific words to explain ...
^^^^
Line 5, column 539, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Because” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...ny do not tell the details of contents. Because they make people feel more skeptical. I...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, first, however, if, lastly, moreover, really, second, so, therefore, thus, for example, for instance, i think, kind of, such as, first of all, in other words
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 15.1003584229 106% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 9.8082437276 71% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 13.8261648746 65% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 11.0286738351 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 38.0 43.0788530466 88% => OK
Preposition: 43.0 52.1666666667 82% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 8.0752688172 74% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1807.0 1977.66487455 91% => OK
No of words: 372.0 407.700716846 91% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.85752688172 4.8611393121 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.39173103935 4.48103885553 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.7308480766 2.67179642975 102% => OK
Unique words: 203.0 212.727598566 95% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.545698924731 0.524837075471 104% => OK
syllable_count: 564.3 618.680645161 91% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 9.59856630824 104% => OK
Article: 5.0 3.08781362007 162% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.94265232975 61% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 20.6003584229 112% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 20.1344086022 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 34.4452663005 48.9658058833 70% => OK
Chars per sentence: 78.5652173913 100.406767564 78% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.1739130435 20.6045352989 78% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.26086956522 5.45110844103 133% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 11.8709677419 126% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.88709677419 143% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.190847142619 0.236089414692 81% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0567952904283 0.076458572812 74% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0758048423952 0.0737576698707 103% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.146495264039 0.150856017488 97% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.102686571789 0.0645574589148 159% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.5 11.7677419355 81% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 63.7 58.1214874552 110% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.4 10.1575268817 83% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.61 10.9000537634 97% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.61 8.01818996416 95% => OK
difficult_words: 75.0 86.8835125448 86% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.4 10.0537634409 84% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.247311828 78% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.