Personally, I agree with the statement. I think teenage children should be supported to get a part-time job for some reasons. By working when they are young, they could learn that they will need to make money in the future, help their families to their expenses and facilitate to find exact job that they will want to do in the future.
First of all, life is hard and one day every young man will have to make money for a living. For example, when I was in highschool, my family were willing me to work as a waitress at a cafe that my mother's friend had. At first, I refused their request to be a waitress. I thought that I did not need to work while I was studying at the same time. But the owner of that small cafe called me many times and one day I found myself working there. My family did not pay my expenses while I worked. I had to buy my school uniforms and books that I needed. By doing this, I learned most part of the life is about making money for my own demands that can be between necessary and luxury things.
Next, by working as a teenager, you can help your familiy to save more by spending less for you. For example, while I was working as a waitress, my force me to purchase my needs with the money I make from the cafe. I bought my school uniform and the books that are a must. Fortunately, my family saved money for their holidays. They rented a hotel room right at the sea side and spend seven days. They enjoyed their travel and this made me happy because, they were not able to have a holiday in order to spend their spare money for my extreem needs.
Lastly, taking a part-time job while you are young help me to find the exact job you will want to do in the future. For example, my family wanted me to be a government officer in the future. I found a job as an office assistant at a company. I checked and monitor all the works that they were doing in the office. I realized that being in an office was not good fpr me because I was getting bored to stay too long in a closed place. I would like to start my own business and it should be joyful. With my father's financial support, I opened and entertainment center in a shopping center where kids play games with many of my electronic devices and slot machines. I absolutely like my job and the kids they come everyday.
In conclusion, families should definitely support their kids and allow them to take a part-time job. By doing so, both the kid and family will realize how important to work while you are young to be aware of life and its rules that you have to make money, help his or her parents for their expenses to be welfare and find the best matched job for you with your expectations from life.
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- TPO-24 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?One of the best ways that parents can help their teenage children prepare for adult life is to encourage them to take a part-time job.Use specific reasons and examples 70
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 8, column 52, Rule ID: HELP_TO_FIND[1]
Message: This phrase is probably grammatically incorrect. Write 'help me find' instead.
Suggestion: help me find
...ing a part-time job while you are young help me to find the exact job you will want to do in th...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 8, column 315, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...rks that they were doing in the office. I realized that being in an office was no...
^
Line 8, column 434, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...red to stay too long in a closed place. I would like to start my own business and...
^
Line 8, column 711, Rule ID: EVERYDAY_EVERY_DAY[3]
Message: 'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean 'every day'?
Suggestion: every day
...tely like my job and the kids they come everyday. In conclusion, families should defi...
^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, if, lastly, so, while, for example, i think, in conclusion, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 15.1003584229 146% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 9.8082437276 153% => OK
Conjunction : 19.0 13.8261648746 137% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 11.0286738351 127% => OK
Pronoun: 90.0 43.0788530466 209% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 61.0 52.1666666667 117% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 8.0752688172 37% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2179.0 1977.66487455 110% => OK
No of words: 517.0 407.700716846 127% => OK
Chars per words: 4.21470019342 4.8611393121 87% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.76839952204 4.48103885553 106% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.25298889938 2.67179642975 84% => OK
Unique words: 236.0 212.727598566 111% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.456479690522 0.524837075471 87% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 692.1 618.680645161 112% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.3 1.51630824373 86% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 23.0 9.59856630824 240% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 27.0 20.6003584229 131% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 20.1344086022 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 54.0178550982 48.9658058833 110% => OK
Chars per sentence: 80.7037037037 100.406767564 80% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.1481481481 20.6045352989 93% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.11111111111 5.45110844103 57% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 11.8709677419 118% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 10.0 4.88709677419 205% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.204034786331 0.236089414692 86% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0641245457333 0.076458572812 84% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0642148904988 0.0737576698707 87% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.14498073916 0.150856017488 96% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0610774580799 0.0645574589148 95% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 8.0 11.7677419355 68% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 77.57 58.1214874552 133% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 7.2 10.1575268817 71% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 7.14 10.9000537634 66% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 6.87 8.01818996416 86% => OK
difficult_words: 75.0 86.8835125448 86% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 10.002688172 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.0537634409 95% => OK
text_standard: 7.0 10.247311828 68% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.