Nowadays, one of the most prominent issues that parents are facing is how to learn their children to live a better life, to be beneficial and to be happy. In this regard, there is a controversy amongst people that how parents should raise their children, according to what standards do they help their children to become prepared for adult life. For instance, whether they should encourage them to take part-time jobs in order to get ready for adult life or not. I am personally in favor of the idea that taking a part-time job is a great help toward getting ready for the future. I cling to my viewpoint for two reasons and will illustrate them in the following.
The first aspect to be mentioned is taking part-time jobs is a practice for children. They can examine themselves practically and try to get better. To be more clear, a child can flourish in working and can evolve his ability. he can find his weaknesses and strong points. To clarify my point, let take a tutoring job for a kid as an example. When a child starts to participate in that job, it provides him an opportunity that he can examine his knowledge and asset his ability to convey his knowledge to others, he may understand his weakness and strong points during the job and tries to eliminate weaknesses and improve his talents. He will know himself better and he can be sure about his promising job in future.
Apart from the point discussed above, a child can become independent and mature when he takes part-time jobs. The job does not take a lot of his time or energy but instead, it gives a lot of benefits to a child. In other words, by making a little effort, a kid can achieve many valuable things like independence. The child does not depend on his parents anymore and as a result, he becomes more mature. He can make his decision by himself and by the time he becomes more rational about making decisions.
The last but not the least, when a kid takes a part-time job, after a while, he learns to manage his time. He understands how time is precious and as a result, he tries to take advantages of every second that he has been given. To clarify my point, let us make a comparison between a child that has a job and a child that does not have a job. The first one dedicate his time to more valuable things such as study, reading books and helping others, while the other one spends his time playing around and do not do anything useful.
All in all, based on the foregoing points and examples, I personally will encourage my future kid to get a pert-time job. I will not force my child to get a job because it would affect him badly and have a negative influence. Parents can just suggest it.
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- TOEFL T P O 31 Integrated Writing Task 85
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 227, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: He
... in working and can evolve his ability. he can find his weaknesses and strong poin...
^^
Line 2, column 707, Rule ID: IN_PAST[1]
Message: Did you mean: 'in the future'?
Suggestion: in the future
... he can be sure about his promising job in future. Apart from the point discussed above,...
^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, if, may, second, so, while, apart from, for instance, such as, as a result, in other words
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 15.1003584229 86% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 18.0 9.8082437276 184% => OK
Conjunction : 23.0 13.8261648746 166% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.0286738351 100% => OK
Pronoun: 63.0 43.0788530466 146% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 53.0 52.1666666667 102% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 8.0752688172 37% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2187.0 1977.66487455 111% => OK
No of words: 492.0 407.700716846 121% => OK
Chars per words: 4.44512195122 4.8611393121 91% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.70967865282 4.48103885553 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.47857082582 2.67179642975 93% => OK
Unique words: 227.0 212.727598566 107% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.461382113821 0.524837075471 88% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 702.9 618.680645161 114% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 15.0 9.59856630824 156% => OK
Article: 8.0 3.08781362007 259% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 10.0 4.94265232975 202% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 20.6003584229 117% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 20.1344086022 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 52.6849750614 48.9658058833 108% => OK
Chars per sentence: 91.125 100.406767564 91% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.5 20.6045352989 99% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.25 5.45110844103 78% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 16.0 11.8709677419 135% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.88709677419 143% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.254452585841 0.236089414692 108% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0871083363341 0.076458572812 114% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0613486109019 0.0737576698707 83% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.156404069261 0.150856017488 104% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.090851577086 0.0645574589148 141% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.8 11.7677419355 83% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 68.1 58.1214874552 117% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 10.1575268817 86% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 8.53 10.9000537634 78% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.58 8.01818996416 95% => OK
difficult_words: 92.0 86.8835125448 106% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 10.002688172 135% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.0537634409 99% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.