TPO-33 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?When teachers assign projects on which students must work together, the students learn much more effectively than when they are asked to work alone on projects.Use spe

Submitted by vhb on Sun, 09/04/2016 - 12:41

There are certain considerations or factors that everyone should take into account to choose as to whether students learn more in group projects or if they work alone. Lots of people who prefer to be comfortable might choose working alone, while others would rather work in a group. In spite of the usefulness of working alone, in my view students learn more efficiently in group projects. I believe that there are two advantages of learning from other members in a group and analyzing the materials more deeply that helps students to learn more. Someone can consciously weigh the pros and cons of each of these elements.

First of all, students can learn from other members in a group. There are different children with different information and knowledge in a project group and they probably know lots of things about electronic, computer, or mathematics and so on. This is a great possibility for students who study in a group to share each other’s thinking, idea, as well as lecture notes or help each other to learn more. For instance, someone in a digital instruments project perhaps can learn from other fellow members how to work with digital camera, satellite, television, or cell phone. This way the students can be sure that all people in the group master all project’s materials. The children have to learn all of these on their own, while they work alone. Fellow students with wide variety of knowledge contribute the children to learn effectively.

Second, children can understand the subjects and materials more deeply. When students are in a group, they can gather and discuss information and data which they found. They have the opportunity to either hear broad range of ideas as well as attitudes about project’s subject or consider all aspects of the materials that have been covered in the course. Besides, they can refute or defend other’s reasons. This helps students to encounter and understand all hidden aspects of the projects. For example, students who are in a digital instruments project can address several questions about digital instruments such as “What is the future of the digital technology?” or “Will robot replace human?”However, while children work alone, there is not anybody to talk and cover the course with them. Because of working in group projects, children can investigate subjects more closely or critically, and as a consequence achieve a high level of understanding about their project’s topic.

Due to the above mentioned reasons, I think that all people should bear in mind that it is better for all students to work in a group. Other students’ experience and knowledge would in fact improve the process of learning in group projects.

Votes
Average: 7.6 (1 vote)
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 94, Rule ID: WHETHER[6]
Message: Can you shorten this phrase to just 'whether', or rephrase the sentence to avoid "as to"?
Suggestion: whether
...yone should take into account to choose as to whether students learn more in group projects o...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 226, Rule ID: AFFORD_VBG[1]
Message: This verb is used with infinitive: 'to work'.
Suggestion: to work
...o prefer to be comfortable might choose working alone, while others would rather work i...
^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 623, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ros and cons of each of these elements. First of all, students can learn from ot...
^^^^^

Discourse Markers used:
['besides', 'but', 'first', 'however', 'if', 'second', 'so', 'well', 'while', 'as to', 'for example', 'for instance', 'i think', 'in fact', 'such as', 'as well as', 'first of all', 'in my view', 'in spite of']

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.249049429658 0.229887763892 108% => OK
Verbs: 0.131178707224 0.158761421928 83% => OK
Adjectives: 0.074144486692 0.0866891130778 86% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0513307984791 0.046263068375 111% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0266159695817 0.0685040099705 39% => OK
Prepositions: 0.136882129278 0.118717715034 115% => OK
Participles: 0.0171102661597 0.0351676179071 49% => Some participles wanted.
Conjunctions: 2.93414843019 2.67179642975 110% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0266159695817 0.0309702414327 86% => OK
Particles: 0.0 0.00188951952338 0% => OK
Determiners: 0.0855513307985 0.0887237588012 96% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0266159695817 0.0209618222197 127% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.0152091254753 0.0139019557991 109% => OK

Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 2746.0 2387.08602151 115% => OK
No of words: 446.0 408.028673835 109% => OK
Chars per words: 6.15695067265 5.86048508987 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.5955099915 4.48200974243 103% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.367713004484 0.338922669872 108% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.289237668161 0.251872472559 115% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.195067264574 0.174417080927 112% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.130044843049 0.112833075102 115% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.93414843019 2.67179642975 110% => OK
Unique words: 201.0 212.727598566 94% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.45067264574 0.524397521467 86% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
Word variations: 49.6793898528 59.2087087015 84% => OK
How many sentences: 21.0 20.6684587814 102% => OK
Sentence length: 21.2380952381 20.5533526081 103% => OK
Sentence length SD: 60.752350346 48.84282405 124% => OK
Chars per sentence: 130.761904762 120.699889404 108% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.2380952381 20.5533526081 103% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.904761904762 0.644075263715 140% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.5376344086 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.54480286738 54% => OK
Readability: 50.1618620542 45.7405998639 110% => OK
Elegance: 1.92727272727 1.45489161554 132% => OK

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.253476853561 0.300154397459 84% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.102757759245 0.103427244359 99% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.0556190882014 0.0752933317313 74% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.49576605762 0.497263757937 100% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.125641458069 0.151897553556 83% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.111703989197 0.114077575197 98% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0522085820589 0.0781384742642 67% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.467677152953 0.336927656856 139% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.0844605043453 0.067059652881 126% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.190357015678 0.210909579961 90% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0320468924119 0.0618886996521 52% => The ideas may be duplicated in paragraphs.

Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 11.8870967742 84% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.86379928315 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.91756272401 163% => OK
Positive topic words: 9.0 8.42114695341 107% => OK
Negative topic words: 3.0 2.4623655914 122% => OK
Neutral topic words: 6.0 2.75985663082 217% => OK
Total topic words: 18.0 13.6433691756 132% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

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Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: This is not the final score. The e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

there is not anybody to talk
there is no anybody to talk

flaws:
No. of Words: 447 while No. of Different Words: 198 //it means it is wordy.

We are expecting:
No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200

--------------------
To remove this issue, Try this pattern with three arguments:

Para 1: introduction. my choice: A or B. agree or disagree. (suppose we support side A)

Para 2: First, reason 1 (1 sentence) + why reason 1(some arguments. 2-3 sentences) + examples for reason 1 (around 1 sentences) + small conclusions (like advantages of reason 1 or comparisons if not reason 1, 1-2 sentences).

Para 3: Second, reason 2, blabla... do the same thing as First

Para 4: Admittedly, there are some advantages of side B. first,....second...However, there is no causation/relation... Still I support side A, ...first,....second...

Para 5: Conclusion.
----------------

Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 22 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 447 350
No. of Characters: 2188 1500
No. of Different Words: 198 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.598 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.895 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.568 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 150 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 123 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 78 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 44 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.286 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.498 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.359 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.5 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.087 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5

Thanks!

Please let me know that is it necessary to write 5 paragraph?

I mean paragarph 4 (Admittedly, there are some advantages of side B. first,....second...However, there is no causation/relation... Still I support side A, ...first,....second...) is necessary??

Based on your expereince how many words do I need to write to get high score? Do you think 400 word is enough (maybe higher or lower)?? Then I can concentrate on grammer, word variety in sentence .....

Yes, it is necessary. Better to have 3 ideas instead of 2 ideas. This will help remove the issues you have: duplicated content.

You may write up to 500 words. So develop whatever you can and you feel comfortable. Don't do it deliberately more or less.

Very Thanks!

I sent this file for a english teacher,last week. He is trustable and teach TOEFL for many years. Besides, he rate students essay + speaking in TOEFL centers. He scored my essay 13-14 in 15 that means 26-28 in 30!!!!!

Can you explain me why your rate (22) is very different from his (26) (if possible)!!!!

This is very impportant for me becuase this should cause my situation to be very unstable!!! or maybe I loss my time for TOEFL exam, and as consequence for apply!!!!!

The difference is that there is a machine who is reading the essay too and gave the flaws like:

No. of Words: 447 while No. of Different Words: 198

it is hard for human graders to figure them out. While there is an e-rater in TOEFL exam too.

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For all the flaws from the essays you submitted, they are not big. You only need to change a little bit writing styles and pay more attention to grammars. You can remove issues easily because you have good languages. It only takes few days to remove them. It will not affect your exam or application.

Submit some essays in the following days and get checked out. We believe that you have the potential to get around 27 in actual exam.