As a matter of fact, having a good relationship with the family is the most important matter for every body. Some people prefer to spend time with their child in a fun atmosphere such as parks or game clubs and some people want to do some serious works with their children. Undoubtedly, both ways have some advantages and disadvantages. In my view, I strongly believe that I like to spend my limited time with my child in a pleasant place for playing games or doing sports.
First and foremost, having a good relationship with children is essential. Parents can make a good communication with their children during a funny game. Children will be happy for having an interesting mother or father. For instance, my mother was working in a high school during my childhood, so I was alone at home most times. I learned to be individual in the most aspects. My mother had a plan to do sports with me at the weekends. after a while, we had a strong relation together, because of those exciting minuets. I still have a close relation with her.
Second, spending time with the family in a pleasant atmosphere is fun and important for mental health. Although paying attention to school works are important for students, having a family time is the most essential factor in students' mental health.
Last but not least, playing sports is good for parent's health and student's health. As every body know, each student spend most of his/her time in school and just sit on the chair and study books. On the other hand, busy parents have full time jobs and they have the same situation in their life. In another word, they do not have enough motions during days. Consequently, they will have some health problem, because of these job positions or study times. Doing sport or playing game will help them to be active after a boring day. Additionally, I read an article in New York Times last month about a child, who has not that much movement during a day. Scientist found out that these kinds of students will be unsatisfied with their life, because they are not healthy in their life after a long period of time.
To sum up, spending time with the family is necessary for parents and children, but each person has different preferences. Most people want to spend their time with their families in an interesting situation to improve their family's health and quality of life.
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paying attention to school works are important
paying attention to school works is important
flaws:
The reason two and reason three are all about health which is duplicated.
More compound or complex sentences/clauses wanted. Try not to use pronouns like 'you, I, they...' and 'people', 'parents' as the subject of a sentence. like:
On the other hand, busy
parents have full time jobs and
they have the same situation in their life. In another word,
they do not have enough motions during days. Consequently,
they will have some health problem, because of these job positions or study times.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 19 in 30
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 417 350
No. of Characters: 1898 1500
No. of Different Words: 199 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.519 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.552 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.411 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 123 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 78 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 54 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 29 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.13 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.713 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.478 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.291 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.291 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.101 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5