Beyond a shadow of a doubt, it is very prevalent that people get stuck with a variety of options when they have to choose their ideal job. On that ground, parents could be the best source who can provide them appropriate solutions since they are the closest to their children. In this regard, many people contend that parents should advice their children to work in their interested field. On the other side, there is a group of people who believe that it is better to priortise salary over work preference. Certainly, from my vantage point, the former view contains more weight. For the following paragraphs, I will delve into the most conspicuous reasons and examples justifying my stance.
The first exquisite point to be mentioned is that, initially, it seems little challenging to reach a consensus on this issue,I, to a great extend, believe that students’s performance is utterly depend on their subject of interest. Consequently, they would perform spectacularly well on those subject in which they are more interested, whereas their focus might get lost or they might not give their best efforts on subjects in which they are least interested. Simiarly, this rule will be applied when they start working following their graduation. To shed more light on this, my borther’s life is a compelling example of what has been elaborated above. My brother was always interested in a music field, nevertheless, he studied marketing as a major subject due to my parent’s willingness to see him working in the big international firm. In reality, when he started his job in marketing field, it was really difficult for him to showcase his best ability on a work what he has been doing at work place since he never wanted to a part of marketing firm in his life. Unforntunately, he was fired due to his low performance. Furtunately, simultaneously, he started performing in the orchestra as a guitarist. Surprisingly, with in a few years, not only he became a renowed guitarist in my country but also his earnings raised to to those people who work in the medical field. Ultimately, had he allowed to become guitarist at first attempt, he would never have to pass through a difficult stages in his life whereby he was fired. Thus, this consequences enforse me to posit that children should select their career very preciesly and accurately in which they are interested.
Another noteworthy reason is that selecting a major based on a high salary might lead to severe negative consequences which probably affect their mental health as well as their professional life in the future which people might not able to see at initial stage of their lives. As a matter of fact, despite the fact that money is a crucial part of our lives especially when children have to make their mind which academic field will serve them higher salary packages, it is not the only subject people consider. To exemplify, as I mentioned above, when my brother used to work in a marketing firm, his low performance in his work forced him to consume alchohol. In fact, after few months, he was in mental depression and his life became miserable. Even, it was hard to cope up with his family life and he got divorced due to that. Admittedly, it is wise to accept that parents should reconsider the long term effects whenever they advice their children to choose their career.
To recapitualate, from contemplating all remarks, in spite of the fact that some may not agree with my viewpoint, I radically stand for notion which suggest parents to give liberty to their children and not make salary as their first priority. This is becasue children might not perform well and lose their job if their are least interested of what they do, and because it can damade their profession as well as their personal life too.
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- TPO 44 Integrated Writing Task 70
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 334, Rule ID: GIVE_ADVISE[4]
Message: Did you mean 'advise' (a verb)?
Suggestion: advise
...many people contend that parents should advice their children to work in their interes...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 125, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , I
...nging to reach a consensus on this issue,I, to a great extend, believe that studen...
^^
Line 3, column 195, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'depended'.
Suggestion: depended
... that students’s performance is utterly depend on their subject of interest. Consequen...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 1325, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: to
...my country but also his earnings raised to to those people who work in the medical fi...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 1402, Rule ID: ALLOW_TO[2]
Message: Did you mean 'becoming'? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'allow' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
Suggestion: becoming
...dical field. Ultimately, had he allowed to become guitarist at first attempt, he would ne...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 1488, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[2]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'stage'?
Suggestion: stage
... never have to pass through a difficult stages in his life whereby he was fired. Thus,...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 1535, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: these
...in his life whereby he was fired. Thus, this consequences enforse me to posit that c...
^^^^
Line 5, column 931, Rule ID: ADVICE_ADVISE[1]
Message: Did you mean 'advise' (verb) instead of advice (noun)?
Suggestion: advise
...der the long term effects whenever they advice their children to choose their career. ...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 315, Rule ID: THEIR_IS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'there'?
Suggestion: there
... not perform well and lose their job if their are least interested of what they do, a...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, consequently, first, if, may, nevertheless, really, so, thus, well, whereas, in fact, as a matter of fact, as well as, in spite of
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 27.0 15.1003584229 179% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 17.0 9.8082437276 173% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 13.8261648746 65% => OK
Relative clauses : 27.0 11.0286738351 245% => Less relative clauses wanted (maybe 'which' is over used).
Pronoun: 99.0 43.0788530466 230% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 91.0 52.1666666667 174% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.0752688172 62% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3152.0 1977.66487455 159% => OK
No of words: 648.0 407.700716846 159% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.86419753086 4.8611393121 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 5.04537849152 4.48103885553 113% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.74573424538 2.67179642975 103% => OK
Unique words: 308.0 212.727598566 145% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.475308641975 0.524837075471 91% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 969.3 618.680645161 157% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 20.0 9.59856630824 208% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.51792114695 142% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 16.0 4.94265232975 324% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 20.6003584229 121% => OK
Sentence length: 25.0 20.1344086022 124% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 60.7097224504 48.9658058833 124% => OK
Chars per sentence: 126.08 100.406767564 126% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.92 20.6045352989 126% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.64 5.45110844103 103% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 9.0 5.5376344086 163% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 11.8709677419 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 3.85842293907 233% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.287294007018 0.236089414692 122% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0801985891464 0.076458572812 105% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0758276237341 0.0737576698707 103% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.207328191951 0.150856017488 137% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0356415222881 0.0645574589148 55% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.4 11.7677419355 122% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 54.56 58.1214874552 94% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 10.1575268817 117% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.2 10.9000537634 103% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.19 8.01818996416 102% => OK
difficult_words: 136.0 86.8835125448 157% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 10.002688172 90% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 10.0537634409 119% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.