working in the same carrer as your parents
Some people think that working in the same career like their parent is the best way to success. They think their parent will provide them with all the valuable information to have a flourishing business. Although I understand their point of view, I have a different opinion. I believe that it is better for children to have a different career from their parent. Different kind of job will teach children the experiences that lead to success. Children will have a happier life.
First of all, different kinds of job help children to learn new experiences by themselves. Today’s children are so smart. They like to lean every thing. They get new experiences by themselves without the help of their parent. For example, my uncle tries to convince his son to go to pharmacy school. His is a very successful pharmacist, so he wants to pass on all his experiences to his son. He wants his son to be a copy of him. His thinks when he provides all the valuable information and experiences he got over his twenty years of working to his son, now son will has a successful career. But, unfortunately his plan is not working. My cousin doesn’t like the pharmacy career at all. And it ended up that he changed his career after wasting about four years from his life. On the other hand, my brother decided to continue his education in some thing he loves like cooking. My parent in the beginning thinks it is a bad idea. But, he continues .He teach him self how to cook. He usually made a delicious food. He surf the internet to find the best college to master his job in a proficient way . He studied four years and graduated. Each step he did it until he graduated gave him a new experience in his life. For example he becomes more responsible. He becomes more successful. Now he runs his own business and he has proceeds a successful life.
Second, working some thing you interested in will provide you with a happier life. Imagine yourself working in a field just to obey your parent. Or you are working in that field because your parents gain a lot of money from that job so you and your parent think that working that job is the way to heaven. But, eventually you find that you do not like what you are doing. I can recall a story from my own life. When I was in the highs school I used to go to help my parent in the work. My parent has their own business. I used to work as a cashier. It was really stressful job. In that job you have to deal with all kind of people. You have to tolerate customers. Also you have to be patient with the customer even if you are right and the customer is wrong. My parent wants me to continue in that career. They mention that they gain a lot of money and by working with them I will be rich and happy. However I feel the opposite. I feel that I am stressed out every day I go to work. I fell that money will not compensate me all the nervous and stress I got in work. Yet, after my graduation from my college I worked in my filed as pharmacist and it is totally different. I fell more comfortable and less stress. I am happy when dealing with any customer. I have the knowledge and information to help the customers in the proper way. Every day after I done with my work I fell happy because I helped many people.
In conclusion for the reason I mentioned above, I believe that it is better for children to work in a job that is different from their parent job. If children really interested to work in same field as their parent, they have to make sure that they are interested in that field. Money and obeying parent will not compensate the children the happiness in the life.
- tpo integrated 33 73
- Successful people try new things and take risks rather than only doing what they knowhow to do well. 70
- cause of harm on earth 60
- TPO-49 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?The ability to maintain friendships with a small number of people over a long period of time is more important for happiness than the ability to make many new friends 70
- TPO INTEDRTED 49 73
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
Some people think that working in the sa...
^^^
Line 1, column 482, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ess. Children will have a happier life. First of all, different kinds of...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 582, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: 'have'
Suggestion: have
...ars of working to his son, now son will has a successful career. But, unfortunately...
^^^
Line 3, column 863, Rule ID: ANY_BODY[2]
Message: Did you mean 'something'?
Suggestion: something
...er decided to continue his education in some thing he loves like cooking. My parent in the...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 967, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...nks it is a bad idea. But, he continues .He teach him self how to cook. He usuall...
^^
Line 3, column 969, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: He
...s it is a bad idea. But, he continues .He teach him self how to cook. He usually ...
^^
Line 3, column 972, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'He' must be used with a third-person verb: 'teaches'.
Suggestion: teaches
...t is a bad idea. But, he continues .He teach him self how to cook. He usually made a...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 1034, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...cook. He usually made a delicious food. He surf the internet to find the best coll...
^^
Line 3, column 1037, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'He' must be used with a third-person verb: 'surfs'.
Suggestion: surfs
...k. He usually made a delicious food. He surf the internet to find the best college t...
^^^^
Line 3, column 1098, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a proficient way" with adverb for "proficient"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...find the best college to master his job in a proficient way . He studied four years and graduated. ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 1117, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...ge to master his job in a proficient way . He studied four years and graduated. E...
^^
Line 3, column 1120, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...to master his job in a proficient way . He studied four years and graduated. Each...
^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... he has proceeds a successful life. Second, working some thing you intereste...
^^^^
Line 5, column 21, Rule ID: ANY_BODY[2]
Message: Did you mean 'something'?
Suggestion: something
...uccessful life. Second, working some thing you interested in will provide you with...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 416, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “When” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
... I can recall a story from my own life. When I was in the highs school I used to go ...
^^^^
Line 5, column 670, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
...people. You have to tolerate customers. Also you have to be patient with the custome...
^^^^
Line 5, column 906, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: However,
...ing with them I will be rich and happy. However I feel the opposite. I feel that I am s...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 1261, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...m happy when dealing with any customer. I have the knowledge and information to h...
^
Line 5, column 1357, Rule ID: PRP_PAST_PART[1]
Message: Possible grammatical error. You used a past participle without using any required verb ('be' or 'have'). Did you mean 'did'?
Suggestion: did
...rs in the proper way. Every day after I done with my work I fell happy because I hel...
^^^^
Line 6, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...l happy because I helped many people. In conclusion for the reason ...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, really, second, so, for example, i feel, in conclusion, kind of, first of all, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 15.1003584229 132% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 9.8082437276 92% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 13.8261648746 101% => OK
Relative clauses : 21.0 11.0286738351 190% => OK
Pronoun: 131.0 43.0788530466 304% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 96.0 52.1666666667 184% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2951.0 1977.66487455 149% => OK
No of words: 677.0 407.700716846 166% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.35893648449 4.8611393121 90% => OK
Fourth root words length: 5.10090420048 4.48103885553 114% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.48782636596 2.67179642975 93% => OK
Unique words: 256.0 212.727598566 120% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.378138847858 0.524837075471 72% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 918.9 618.680645161 149% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 32.0 9.59856630824 333% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Interrogative: 1.0 0.994623655914 101% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 52.0 20.6003584229 252% => Too many sentences.
Sentence length: 13.0 20.1344086022 65% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 33.3694300363 48.9658058833 68% => OK
Chars per sentence: 56.75 100.406767564 57% => More chars_per_sentence wanted.
Words per sentence: 13.0192307692 20.6045352989 63% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.44230769231 5.45110844103 45% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 20.0 5.5376344086 361% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 29.0 11.8709677419 244% => Less positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 3.85842293907 233% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 14.0 4.88709677419 286% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.203986467328 0.236089414692 86% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0499653935052 0.076458572812 65% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0795205882129 0.0737576698707 108% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.149143912069 0.150856017488 99% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0797231653747 0.0645574589148 123% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 5.6 11.7677419355 48% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 75.2 58.1214874552 129% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 6.0 10.1575268817 59% => Flesch kincaid grade is low.
coleman_liau_index: 7.12 10.9000537634 65% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 6.36 8.01818996416 79% => OK
difficult_words: 89.0 86.8835125448 102% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 5.5 10.002688172 55% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 7.2 10.0537634409 72% => OK
text_standard: 6.0 10.247311828 59% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?
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Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.