writing independent- TOEFL September 30th
Nowadays having a university degree is so important and it is becoming an essential part of a resume for getting jobs due to complexity of the jobs and expertise required to do them. So there is a debate about whether it is necessary for the companies to pay for their employees university expenses or not. In spite of considering the importance that has mentioned above, I am disagree with the statement that companies ought to pay their employees university costs for two major reasons that I am going to discuss.
First, getting a university degree is costly and time-taking. So a company should wait some years for its employee to graduate before it can utilize that employee. During these years the company is spending a lot of money without getting anything back. This seems to be a redundant cost for the company while the managers can hire someone with a university degree from the beginning. I remember back in the time when I was working in a company, there was one of my colleagues who was a master student in the time. And because of the fact that she was a student, she has to attend her classes and prepare homework and get ready for her exams. During these times she was not able to do the tasks of her position. Thus others, including me, were obligated to do her tasks and obviously this affected the excellency of the done tasks badly. Imagine adding the factor of cost to this situation. So cost and time are the two factors that prevent the companies to pay for university expenses of their employee.
Second, although jobs are more complicated these days, all the jobs don't require a university degree. Therefore paying for university costs of an employee with a position that doesn't need one is a waste. Again back in the time I was working in that company, there was a secretary with a bachelor degree among the staff. Of course a secretary doesn't need to have a university degree. She was over qualified for the job and could do other things that suit her level of education. Of course the salary of an employee with a university degree is higher and this would be redundant cost for the company. So considering the fact that whether a job requires a university degree or not, is a key element and a company doesn't have to pay university costs just for any job.
To summarize, I believe that it's not a company's duty to pay for its employees university expenses. The first reason is that getting a university degree is time-taking and costs a lot of money. And this will decrease the company's net profit in an obvious way. The second reason is that all the positions in a company does not require a university degree and can be done with a proper training period. This may result in over qualification and extra costs. I suggest the companies choose to hire individuals with a university degree for the positions that requires one or outsourcing their projects to university students and hiring them after their graduation based on the quality of the projects that they have done.
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- TPO 26- Integrated 66
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 378, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'disagreed'.
Suggestion: disagreed
...portance that has mentioned above, I am disagree with the statement that companies ought...
^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 518, Rule ID: BECAUSE_OF_THE_FACT_THAT[1]
Message: This phrase is redundant. Use simply 'because'.
Suggestion: because
...o was a master student in the time. And because of the fact that she was a student, she has to attend he...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 711, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...t able to do the tasks of her position. Thus others, including me, were obligated to...
^^^^
Line 3, column 69, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...re complicated these days, all the jobs dont require a university degree. Therefore ...
^^^^
Line 3, column 102, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Therefore,
... jobs dont require a university degree. Therefore paying for university costs of an emplo...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 176, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...sts of an employee with a position that doesnt need one is a waste. Again back in the ...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 342, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
... among the staff. Of course a secretary doesnt need to have a university degree. She w...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 710, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
... or not, is a key element and a company doesnt have to pay university costs just for a...
^^^^^^
Line 4, column 240, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in an obvious way" with adverb for "obvious"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...s will decrease the companys net profit in an obvious way. The second reason is that all the posi...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, if, may, second, so, therefore, thus, while, as to, of course, in spite of
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 26.0 15.1003584229 172% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 9.8082437276 112% => OK
Conjunction : 19.0 13.8261648746 137% => OK
Relative clauses : 17.0 11.0286738351 154% => OK
Pronoun: 56.0 43.0788530466 130% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 64.0 52.1666666667 123% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 8.0752688172 111% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2475.0 1977.66487455 125% => OK
No of words: 532.0 407.700716846 130% => OK
Chars per words: 4.6522556391 4.8611393121 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.80261649409 4.48103885553 107% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.64234839861 2.67179642975 99% => OK
Unique words: 225.0 212.727598566 106% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.422932330827 0.524837075471 81% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 808.2 618.680645161 131% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 9.59856630824 83% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.51792114695 28% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 26.0 20.6003584229 126% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 20.1344086022 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 47.5897315014 48.9658058833 97% => OK
Chars per sentence: 95.1923076923 100.406767564 95% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.4615384615 20.6045352989 99% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.11538461538 5.45110844103 57% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 9.0 5.5376344086 163% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 11.8709677419 34% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 3.85842293907 181% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 15.0 4.88709677419 307% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0 0.236089414692 0% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0 0.076458572812 0% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0 0.0737576698707 0% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0 0.150856017488 0% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0 0.0645574589148 0% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.7 11.7677419355 91% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 59.64 58.1214874552 103% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 10.1575268817 97% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.69 10.9000537634 89% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.33 8.01818996416 91% => OK
difficult_words: 91.0 86.8835125448 105% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 10.002688172 145% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.0537634409 99% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.
Rates: 3.33333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.