The lecture claims that the advantages of fossils becoming a business outweigh the disadvantages of it mentioned in the reading passage.
To begin with, the lecturer argues that fossil business is a great exposure for the public to see the fossils. The public institute, like schools, could buy a fossil to display. However, the reading passage states that private fossil collectors will not let public see the fossils, which will cause a decline in public interest in fossils.
Second, according to the lecture, the value of the fossil need to be identified scientifically by the scientists and experts before they are sold. All the fossils must pass through the experts to be examined first. Thus, important information will not be missed out like what is said in the reading passage.
Lastly, the lecturer thinks that the extraction process benefits the public because it is better to discover more fossils rather than let all fossils remain intact. Nevertheless, the reading passage indicates that most commercial fossil collectors are not professional. They could destroy fossils or ignore the useful message of the fossils.
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- TOEFL T P O 12 Integrated Writing Task 66
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Essay evaluation report
flaws:
No. of Words: 181 250
You didn't put enough content. basically, 25% contents wanted from the reading passages, 75% content wanted from the lecture. While in this essay, it is either half half or no content from reading.
Have you read the sample essays from ETS?
http://www.testbig.com/users/toeflwritingmaster
minimum 220 words wanted.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 20 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 10 12
No. of Words: 181 250
No. of Characters: 926 1200
No. of Different Words: 101 150
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.668 4.2
Average Word Length: 5.116 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.62 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 83 80
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 59 60
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 28 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 17 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.1 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.718 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.7 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.421 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.655 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.055 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4
Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, however, if, lastly, nevertheless, second, so, thus, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 8.0 10.4613686534 76% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 5.04856512141 139% => OK
Conjunction : 2.0 7.30242825607 27% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 6.0 12.0772626932 50% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 9.0 22.412803532 40% => OK
Preposition: 22.0 30.3222958057 73% => OK
Nominalization: 2.0 5.01324503311 40% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 960.0 1373.03311258 70% => OK
No of words: 181.0 270.72406181 67% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.30386740331 5.08290768461 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.66791821706 4.04702891845 91% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.71247650109 2.5805825403 105% => OK
Unique words: 101.0 145.348785872 69% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.558011049724 0.540411800872 103% => OK
syllable_count: 288.9 419.366225166 69% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.55342163355 103% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 3.25607064018 31% => OK
Interrogative: 0.0 0.116997792494 0% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.23620309051 85% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 1.25165562914 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.51434878587 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 2.5761589404 116% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 10.0 13.0662251656 77% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 18.0 21.2450331126 85% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 36.2299599779 49.2860985944 74% => OK
Chars per sentence: 96.0 110.228320801 87% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.1 21.698381199 83% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.3 7.06452816374 103% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.09492273731 98% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 4.19205298013 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 4.33554083885 138% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 4.45695364238 45% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.27373068433 47% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.470433436951 0.272083759551 173% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.194091855569 0.0996497079465 195% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0622174908889 0.0662205650399 94% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.268607273428 0.162205337803 166% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.108100744559 0.0443174109184 244% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.6 13.3589403974 94% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 53.21 53.8541721854 99% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 5.55761589404 56% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 11.0289183223 93% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.16 12.2367328918 108% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.19 8.42419426049 97% => OK
difficult_words: 42.0 63.6247240618 66% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.7273730684 103% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.498013245 88% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.2008830022 116% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.