TPO-25 Integrated WritingIn 1938 an archaeologist in Iraq acquired a set of clay jars that had been excavated two years earlier by villagers constructing a railroad line. The vessel was about 2,200 years old. Each clay jay contained a copper cylinder surr

Essay topics:

TPO-25 Integrated Writing
In 1938 an archaeologist in Iraq acquired a set of clay jars that had been excavated two years earlier by villagers constructing a railroad line. The vessel was about 2,200 years old. Each clay jay contained a copper cylinder surrounding an iron rod. The archaeologist proposed that vessel were ancient electric batteries and even demonstrated that they can produce a small electric current when filled with some liquids. However, it is not likely that the vessels were actually used as electric batteries in ancient times.

First of all, if the vessels were used as batteries, they would probably have been attached to some electricity conductors such as metal wires. But there is no evidence that any metal wires were located near the vessels. All that has been excavated are the vessels themselves.

Second, the copper cylinders inside the jarslook exactly like copper cylinders discovered in the ruins of Seleucia, an ancientcity located nearby. We know that the copper cylinders from Seleucia were used for holding scrolls of sacred texts, not for generating electricity. Since the cylinders found with the jars have the same shape, it is very likely they were used for holding scrolls as well. That no scrolls were found inside the jars can be explained by the fact that the scrolls simply disintegrated over the centuries.

Finally, what could ancient people have done with the electricity that the vessels were supposed to have generated? They had no devices that replied on electricity. As batteries, the vessels would have been completely useless to them.

The reading and the listening are about ancient vessels were found in Iraq which had copper cylinder surrounding an iron rod, so many archaeologists believe that those vessels might be an ancient electric battery. But in the reading, the author claims that this is true and provides three explanations for it. However, the professor of the lecture rebuts author's point of view, and refutes all explanations.

First of all, the author avers that since no conductor were found near the excavation site and which were needed to use a battery, people of that age did not use them as an electric energy source. The professor, on the other hand, disagrees this point, and he clarifies the point why no such wire found by saying that people who excavated that location were not archaeologists, so they might overlook those wires. So, those vessels might have use as an electric battery.

Secondly, the reading suggests that vessels were used as sacred text scroll holder as those vessels the shape and structure of those vessel were very similar to copper cylinders which were designed scrolling sacred text discovered near Seleucia. This assumption is rebutted by the lecturer who states that iron wire with clay was used as a battery for a longtime. So, the vessel might be used for an energy source and then adapted to use as scroll holder.

Finally, because people of that time did not need any electric energy as they did not have any electric device, those vessels were not made for fulfilling their energy source. Conversely, the professor maintains that ancient people had to use electric use for showing magic or to heal pain. Since people believed supper natural event, some magician might be used those electric batteries to create shocks. Moreover, they used those for medical treatment purposes also.

In conclusion, it's clear that the professor successfully refutes the author point of view about the vessel that it might not used as electric batteries.

Votes
Average: 8 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 128, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this vessel' or 'those vessels'?
Suggestion: this vessel; those vessels
...hose vessels the shape and structure of those vessel were very similar to copper cylinders w...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 353, Rule ID: DT_JJ_NO_NOUN[1]
Message: Probably a noun is missing in this part of the sentence.
...ire with clay was used as a battery for a longtime. So, the vessel might be used for an en...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 464, Rule ID: ALSO_SENT_END[1]
Message: 'Also' is not used at the end of the sentence. Use 'as well' instead.
Suggestion: as well
...ed those for medical treatment purposes also. In conclusion, its clear that the ...
^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, conversely, finally, first, however, if, look, moreover, second, secondly, so, then, in conclusion, first of all, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 10.4613686534 143% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 5.04856512141 139% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 7.30242825607 123% => OK
Relative clauses : 17.0 12.0772626932 141% => OK
Pronoun: 32.0 22.412803532 143% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 26.0 30.3222958057 86% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 5.01324503311 80% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1646.0 1373.03311258 120% => OK
No of words: 327.0 270.72406181 121% => OK
Chars per words: 5.03363914373 5.08290768461 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.25242769721 4.04702891845 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.48230653037 2.5805825403 96% => OK
Unique words: 164.0 145.348785872 113% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.501529051988 0.540411800872 93% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 512.1 419.366225166 122% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.55342163355 103% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 3.25607064018 154% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.23620309051 97% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 1.25165562914 160% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.51434878587 198% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 2.5761589404 116% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 13.0662251656 107% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 21.2450331126 108% => OK
Sentence length SD: 58.4993022809 49.2860985944 119% => OK
Chars per sentence: 117.571428571 110.228320801 107% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.3571428571 21.698381199 108% => OK
Discourse Markers: 10.1428571429 7.06452816374 144% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.09492273731 122% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 4.19205298013 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 4.33554083885 138% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 4.45695364238 45% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.27373068433 140% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.455172103505 0.272083759551 167% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.16607933654 0.0996497079465 167% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0947676024494 0.0662205650399 143% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.267343432256 0.162205337803 165% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0788009180082 0.0443174109184 178% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.9 13.3589403974 104% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 48.13 53.8541721854 89% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 5.55761589404 56% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 11.0289183223 112% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.19 12.2367328918 100% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.06 8.42419426049 96% => OK
difficult_words: 68.0 63.6247240618 107% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 10.7273730684 126% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 10.498013245 107% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.2008830022 125% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Write the essay in 20 minutes.

Rates: 80.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 24.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.