TOPIC# 24 a person you know is planning to move to your town or city. What do you think that person would like and dislike about living in your town or city?
Our city is located in the northwest of Iran. It has had many dominant influences on Iran’s history. However, apart from its rich background, it is well-known for its foods, climate, scenic nature, valor of its residents. I think a newcomer would like its foods, and its climate in the summer, while he would dislike its cold weather in the winter, and people talking in another language.
First, our city, Tabriz, is very famous for its foods and sweets in Iran, and even in other neighbor countries. We are very obsessive about food and its quality that we try to provide the best and freshest materials from daily local bazars. Our cooks and housewives spend a lot of time, and put a lot of effort on food preparation. They care a lot about its nourishing value and appearance. For example, my university friends living in dormitory, often acknowledge that we love foods here, and we do not know what to do when we are back home.
Second, another factor that a newcomer could both like and dislike is climate. Our city is located in the mountainous area that makes the weather unbearably bitter during winter, and pleasant during summer. Its freezing winters usually repel strangers, while its cool summers attract many travelers running away from the hot weather of their hometowns.
Third, our mother language is Turkish, although the official language in Iran is Persian. So, it would be a little difficult for a newcomer to live here. We try to speak in Persian in front of Persian people, nevertheless, sometimes we spontaneously start speaking in Turkish, and a newcomer may feel a little bit confused. Moreover, a newcomer may also have tough time in his daily communications because most of aged people in Tabriz do not know Persian, or it is too uncomfortable for them to talk in another language. For instance, my aunt is from another city. At first, she did not know Turkish, and could not relate with us, and in particular with my grandmother. Now, after twenty years, she has learned it, and feels much better.
All in all, I think a newcomer would be fond of many things in this city including its foods, sweets, and its summers, however he probably would dislike its winters, and people talking in another language.
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2014-10-24 | mayaa | 70 | view |
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Comments
Yes, better to remove sweets.
Yes, better to remove sweets.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 25 in 30
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 386 350
No. of Characters: 1785 1500
No. of Different Words: 198 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.432 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.624 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.477 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 124 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 93 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 52 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 29 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.3 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.373 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.65 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.311 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.513 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.156 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Do you think it is better to remove the sweets from the essay, because I have not explained anything about it?