Still the speaking is not exactly right on the topic.
Let's read the topic again:
Choose an accomplishment that required you to work very hard. Explain what the accomplishment was and why it was important to you.
it should be something like this:
Passed TOEFL exam is the accomplishment for me. I worked on it 8 hours a day, 7 days a week in 6 months. There are no entertainments like hanging out with friends, playing video games,... only study, study. I finally got the mark i wanted to. It is important because with the good mark, I can apply a good university in U.S...and more....
Still the speaking is not exactly right on the topic.
Let's read the topic again:
Choose an accomplishment that required you to work very hard. Explain what the accomplishment was and why it was important to you.
it should be something like this:
Passed TOEFL exam is the accomplishment for me. I worked on it 8 hours a day, 7 days a week in 6 months. There are no entertainments like hanging out with friends, playing video games,... only study, study. I finally got the mark i wanted to. It is important because with the good mark, I can apply a good university in U.S...and more....