Computer games are supported by some families becouse of their advantages. While other parents are against them.Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Computer games are supported by some families becouse of their advantages. While other parents are against them.Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Submitted by Jaswinder on Thu, 02/07/2013 - 12:29

In this rampant age of globalization,computer games have become an indispensible part of children's lives that offer them a great deal of amusement and other skills according to some parents.By contrast,other have conflicting views.Here,i would like to establish my views for both sides with my own perception.

To set in, there are numerous points to endorse computer games.First and foremost,offsprings attain manifold skills and distinct ways to solve problems related to study subjects by playing computer games such as sudoku,K.B.C that enable them to sharp their calculations abilities and general knowledge .Moreover, children have to come across several onerous stages while playing games and they try their level best to cross these stages by making tremendous endeavours . As a result , it sharps their will power to achieve in real life as well . It makes strong to their vision acuity and power to be more creative of new ideas.

"Every sword has two edges". So, Computer games have darker side too. Initially, children adopt the violent behavior by playing some violent games based on wrestling , boxing , racing so on . Adding to it , children devote most of their time to playing computer games as these tempt them morethan anything else . Consequently , their studies are beimg neglected by them.

From my notion, computer games undoubtedly , have boosted the lifestyle of children however, overusing to these is damaging to the characterstics and health of offsprings. I would suggest that both parents and teachers must aware children about positive usage of games to make their lifestyle healthier and safer.

In a nutshell, after doing a great deal of thought and deliberations , I would say that some changes in way of playing computer games are required to be made for children to get the best out of them.

Votes
Average: 8.5 (4 votes)
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IELTS

Comments

Sentence: First and foremost,offsprings attain manifold skills and distinct ways to solve problems related to study subjects by playing computer games such as sudoku,K.B.C that ebable them to sharp their calculations abilities and general knowledge .
Description: The fragment that ebable them is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace ebable with verb, past tense

Sentence: I would suggest that both parents and teachers must aware children about positive usage of games to mke their lifestyle healthier and safer.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by an adjective
Suggestion: Refer to must and aware

Sentence: In this rampant age of globalization,computer games have become an indespensible part of children's lives that offer them a great deal of amusement and other skills according to some parents.
Error: indespensible Suggestion: indispensable

Sentence: Here,i would like to establish my views for both sides with my own preception.
Error: preception Suggestion: No alternate word

Sentence: First and foremost,offsprings attain manifold skills and distinct ways to solve problems related to study subjects by playing computer games such as sudoku,K.B.C that ebable them to sharp their calculations abilities and general knowledge .
Error: ebable Suggestion: enable

Sentence: Moreover, children have to come accross several onerous stages while playing games and they try their level best to cross these stages by making tremendous endeavours .
Error: accross Suggestion: across

Sentence: Initially, children adopt the violent behavior by playing some violent games based on wrestling , contra , racing so on .
Error: contra Suggestion: No alternate word

Sentence: Adding to it , children devote most of their time to playing computer games as these tempt them morethan anything else .
Error: morethan Suggestion: more than

Sentence: From my notion, computer games undoubtedly , have boosted the lifestyle of children however, overusing to these is damaging to the characterstics and health of offsprings.
Error: characterstics Suggestion: characteristics

Sentence: I would suggest that both parents and teachers must aware children about positive usage of games to mke their lifestyle healthier and safer.
Error: mke Suggestion: make

flaws:
No. of Spelling Errors: 8 2

Don't put a space before punctuation marks.
Put a space after punctuation marks. E-rater is sensitive.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 8 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 302 350
No. of Characters: 1483 1500
No. of Different Words: 184 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.169 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.911 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.587 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 101 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 79 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 56 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 26 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.875 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.319 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.438 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.319 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.556 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.121 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5