You are hereDespite the warnings, a large number of people continue to smoke all over the world.Why should we be concerned about this?What solutions would you suggest?

Despite the warnings, a large number of people continue to smoke all over the world.Why should we be concerned about this?What solutions would you suggest?


Ramdhan Hidayat2's picture

By Ramdhan Hidayat2 - Posted on 29 November 2013

Essay topic: 

Despite the warnings, a large number of people continue to smoke all over the world.

Why should we be concerned about this?

What solutions would you suggest?

In the past, when the dangers of smoking are yet to be realized by doctors, the huge number of people smoking is proper. But, when the danger of smoking is not a secret anymore, to some intellectual people such as doctors and scientists, the number is understandable. They know how cigarette works in making the smoker become addict. As the consequence, they become the people who concerned most about the condition.

However, a lot of people still do not care about the big number of smokers around the world. They must be concerned about it, because smoking is the biggest supplier to the number of human died in cancer. Moreover, people who are in addiction to smoking often do not care whether they are in poor economic condition or not due to addiction. As a corollary to addiction, they often take the money for their children education in order to buy cigarettes.

Then, to diminish such catastrophe from human civilization, government must take the issue seriously, because they are the one who make regulation. They should ban the cigarette’s company to operate, because the company only sells deaths, not sells products. Although such action will make the company protests heatedly, that is the only way to save humans from wasteful deaths.

In a nutshell, people should concern a lo to smoking issues and government should takes brief actions to stop cigarette’s company.

Average: 6 (2 votes)
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essayE-rater's picture

Sentence: In a nutshell, people should concern a lo to smoking issues and government should takes brief actions to stop cigarette's company.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a verb, present tense, 3rd person singular
Suggestion: Refer to should and takes

flaws:
Sentence Length SD: 3.923 7.5
No. of Words: 232 350

Minimum 250 words wanted.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.5 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 12 15
No. of Words: 232 350
No. of Characters: 1119 1500
No. of Different Words: 123 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.903 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.823 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.554 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 87 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 59 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 35 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 23 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.333 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 3.923 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.333 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.357 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.603 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.104 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5