In many countries, the proportion of older people is steadily increasing. Does this trend have positive or negative effects on society?

Essay topics: In many countries, the proportion of older people is steadily increasing. Does this trend have positive or negative effects on society?

andaihiep's picture

In the modern times, the increase in the percentage of aged population is a significant feature in many developed countries. There are some who fear that caring for the elderly would be to great a burden for the younger generation. However, in my view, this trend, indeed, has both positive and negative effects on society.

It is true that as population become more frail due to the ages, there would be a number of undesirable consequences. One of the main effects is that supporting retired people, either through direct financial support from younger relatives or through the tax and benefits system, will be come more expensive. In other words, young people have to pay more for caring the aged and their disposable income also dwindle because of paying higher money for taxes. It is not all, these effects also carry other following negative results. As the states support more significantly for the aged in terms of subsidizing in nursing and aged-related facilities, the balance of government's funding could be negatively influenced. To address this problem, they would get money from other type of taxes and by importing more workers from other countries. This eventually lead to the life of civilians become more complicated as well as deteriorating the culture of host countries.

However, this trend also have some clear advantages for the whole society. The more percentage of age population means that people nowadays would be healthier. In addition, there would be more extended family which is commonly regarded as a better place for children to grow up. What is more, the experience of aged people is also a substantial source for exploiting. Take for example Britain, where the government prolong the retired ages to let old employees continue to contribute to society.

Overall, aging population has some disadvantages for society; however, there are still many benefits depending on how we react to it.

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Sentence: There are some who fear that caring for the elderly would be to great a burden for the younger generation.
Description: An adjective is not usually followed by an article
Suggestion: Refer to great and a

Sentence: It is true that as population become more frail due to the ages, there would be a number of undesirable consequences.
Description: The fragment population become more is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace become with verb, present tense, 3rd person singular

Sentence: Take for example Britain, where the government prolong the retired ages to let old employees continue to contribute to society.
Description: The fragment government prolong the is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace prolong with verb, past tense

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
Sentence Length SD: 5.085 7.5
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.048 0.07

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 7.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 314 350
No. of Characters: 1572 1500
No. of Different Words: 177 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.21 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.006 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.705 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 111 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 89 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 55 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 42 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.625 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.085 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.625 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.32 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.508 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.048 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5

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