You are hereThe problem of obesity is becoming a serious issue all over the world. Some people argue that the price of fatting foods should be increased to reduce the growth of this problem.Do you agree or disagree.

The problem of obesity is becoming a serious issue all over the world. Some people argue that the price of fatting foods should be increased to reduce the growth of this problem.Do you agree or disagree.


Jasmeetgill's picture

By Jasmeetgill - Posted on 24 August 2013

Essay topic: 

The problem of obesity is becoming a serious issue all over the world. Some people argue that the price of fatting foods should be increased to reduce the growth of this problem.
Do you agree or disagree.

In this modern era the problem of obesity upsurges day by day. It goes without saying, "Health is wealth",consequently the diseases and disorders due to high obesity and keep mounting everywhere inspite of that overweight people can seen anywhere. A majority of people accord that, if the price of fast food should be escalated, it could be a lucrative panacea to address this hazard. However ,l would probably oppose to this idea.

There are ample number of reasons, firstly the life style of people has improved by leaps and bounds due to which they have forced to sit in front of computers throughout the day so they have no time to prepare food in their homes therefore, increased price would not affected them. Secondly ,irregular working system is a another contributing factor so working prolonged time due to the race of touching zenith as a result in eating and digestion related problems. These factors lead to rise in weight.

Moreover, prices of all commodities are continously rising yet their consumption has not been curtailed. For instance, according to a survey, times magazines has depicted that consumption of fast food containing higher fats is more in affulent classes who are not going to be affected by an increment in the cost of these foods as comparing to poorer people.

On the flip side, some proportion of folk have conflicting view, first and foremost by in price of fast food people divert to the green products like vegetables and fruits. Moreover, if the rates of fast food grows up people definately will give a second thought before buying any sort of fast food.

Finally, it conclude that escalating the price of fast food is not a way to curb this problem even buy as same like today yet it will not affecting the life and food choice of people respectively.

Average: 7.3 (7 votes)
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Sentence: It goes without saying, 'Health is wealth',consequently the diseases and disorders due to high obesity and keep mounting everywhere inspite of that overweight people can seen anywhere.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a verb, past participle
Suggestion: Refer to can and seen

Sentence: There are ample number of reasons, firstly the life style of people has improved by leaps and bounds due to which they have forced to sit in front of computers throughout the day so they have no time to prepare food in their homes therefore, increased price would not affected them.
Description: The fragment not affected them is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace affected with verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive

Sentence: Secondly ,irregular working system is a another contributing factor so working prolonged time due to the race of touching zenith as a result in eating and digestion related problems.
Description: The fragment , irregular working is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace irregular with adverb
Description: The token a is not usually followed by a determiner/pronoun, singular
Suggestion: Refer to a and another

Sentence: Finally, it conclude that escalating the price of fast food is not a way to curb this problem even buy as same like today yet it will not affecting the life and food choice of people respectively.
Description: The fragment it conclude that is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace conclude with verb, past tense

Sentence: Moreover, prices of all commodities are continously rising yet their consumption has not been curtailed.
Error: continously Suggestion: continuously

Sentence: For instance, according to a survey, times magazines has depicted that consumption of fast food containing higher fats is more in affulent classes who are not going to be affected by an increment in the cost of these foods as comparing to poorer people.
Error: affulent Suggestion: affluent

Sentence: Moreover, if the rates of fast food grows up people definately will give a second thought before buying any sort of fast food.
Error: definately Suggestion: definitely

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2

Read a good grammar book.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 12 15
No. of Words: 309 350
No. of Characters: 1455 1500
No. of Different Words: 184 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.193 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.709 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.535 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 106 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 71 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 51 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 31 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.75 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 13.261 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.833 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.339 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.631 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.087 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5

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