As a result of electronic inventions such as the computer and television, people do less physical activity, and this is having a negative effect on their health.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
The impact of electronic development such as television, computer makes people lazy outdoor activity. However, the electronic inventions have positive effect like easy to gave information. While it is true, I disagree with this statement.
All this time, office worker have always worked sitting down in front of the computer. This have not effect physical down jobs like planting or building either, and in the past people still did physical work like them in the fact., there are a lot of that help human activities such as chainsaw, washing machine, tractor, not computer, reduce intensity of physical exercise.
On the other hand, inhabitants spend their spare time has change greatly. People spend many time watching television and playing computer it makes him like her world, so they do not do so much outdoor activity, and this one of the things which caused people a lot of fat, this effect make they will feel this effect when they are older.
However, people have body overweight because they eat more calorie and human do not sports than in the past, so we should not blame high technology gadget for everything. What is more, new technology has helped many people in the research to life of human.
In conclusion, I am sure advance in technology will people lives better for instance people do some researches or people do some experiments to find latest discoveries for the world community. In my view, if people use electronic inventions in the wrong way, this will give negative impact. For example, this make the individual characters or make people rarely socialize.
Sentence: This have not effect physical down jobs like planting or building either, and in the past people still did physical work like them in the fact., there are a lot of that help human activities such as chainsaw, washing machine, tractor, not computer, reduce intensity of physical exercise.
Description: A determiner/pronoun, singular is not usually followed by a verb 'to have', uninflected present tense, infinitive or
Suggestion: Refer to This and have
Sentence: People spend many time watching television and playing computer it makes him like her world, so they do not do so much outdoor activity, and this one of the things which caused people a lot of fat, this effect make they will feel this effect when they are older.
Description: The fragment effect make they is rare
advance in technology will people lives better
advance in technology will make people live better
inhabitants spend their spare time has change greatly.
Description: two verbs in one sentence.
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
Read a good grammar book.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.5 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 12 15
No. of Words: 264 350
No. of Characters: 1283 1500
No. of Different Words: 155 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.031 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.86 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.451 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 92 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 59 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 45 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 26 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 13.472 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.917 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.36 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.658 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.13 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5