Some people say that if anyone would be given any choice between not working and working most of the time they would choose not agree.
I do agree that when people were given those two options between not working and working most of the time, they will choose to not working. Those two options are sort of extreme choices. Personally, I will also choose this option. There are some reasons that perhaps could answer the question why. Basically working is one of our means to fulfill our needs, but then it come up to the need itself, which is a need of self actualization. The social life support that opinion as well by respecting more to working people than those who are jobless. So there’s a change from just an effort to get a well-being life to sort of a social status. Thus, there’s no one in this world really want to choose not working in their life actually becoming need itself.
Merely, working is not the only one need there are a number of needs such as affection, safety, take care of the kids, social life, charity and many more. But as we know, minimum working hours in most country are 8 hours and it usually more than 8 hours, in average about 10 hours a day. Generally, we spend 10 hours a day at the office during weekdays from Monday to Saturday, and it become part of our daily routines. Without being ordered to work harder and spend most of our time to work, we have work very hard everyday and spend a half of our day at the office, so if we asked to do more, I think most people will think twice and will choose not to work. Finally, working is very important but there are many things more important than working as well.
Sentence: Basically working is one of our means to fulfill our needs, but then it come up to the need itself, which is a need of self actualization.
Description: The fragment it come up is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace come with verb, past tense
Sentence: Generally, we spend 10 hours a day at the office during weekdays from Monday to Saturday, and it become part of our daily routines.
Description: The fragment it become part is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace become with verb, past tense
flaws:
Number of Paragraphs: 2 5
The format of the essay is wrong. better to have 4-5 paragraphs:
para 1: introduction. my opinion: A or B. agree or disagree
para 2: reason 1
para 3: reason 2
para 4: reason 3 (optional)
para 5: conclusion: because of reasons 1,2,3, so i agree/disagree.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.5 out of 9
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 13 15
No. of Words: 283 350
No. of Characters: 1199 1500
No. of Different Words: 144 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.102 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.237 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.067 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 75 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 47 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 16 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 9 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.769 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.75 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.769 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.353 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.446 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.141 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 2 5