Some people say that you can learn more about another country by watching television programs and films about it than by actually visiting it. How true is this statement? Is there anything you can learn by watching programs and films about it?
Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own experience.
Since television became popular around the world, human have introduced to a new lifestyle. That is watching, which is an activity that makes someone watch, hear and see something new from television, and many people also feel enjoy sitting in a place. Film, news and reality show are the kinds of television programs that possible to see. I think there will be plenty advantages of watching the programs.
In the one TV station, there are some programs which set people in a place. For example: watching National Geographic, for someone who interest in nature life, it is a pleasure time when he can spend time with the program from the beginning to the end. Even the program will take two or more hours.
By watching TV programs that related to visiting a country a county or a journey, someone will get knowledge, and he does not have to spend money to explore a place which he wants to know. It will be costly to visit every place that someone’s dream of.
In my view, although visiting a place is better than watching, but watching TV delivers me to some understandings more about the places, so I can collect information; transport, money, home stay, and the culture. For example, 2 years ago, I went to Singapore. At that time, I had no friend to ask, also idea where the first place I should visit, so I watched BBC Knowledge which is shown about Singapore, than I succeed the trip without lost.
In conclusion, not only some people think that watching a television program or films give knowledge about a place which they want to explore but also I feel the same, and I believe that everyone needs to visit the places one day.
Sentence: Since television became popular around the world, human have introduced to a new lifestyle.
Description: An adjective is not usually followed by a verb 'to have', uninflected present tense, infinitive or
Suggestion: Refer to human and have
Sentence: For example: watching National Geographic, for someone who interest in nature life, it is a pleasure time when he can spend time with the program from the beginning to the end.
Description: A WH-pronoun, nominative is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to who and interest
flaws:
No. of Different Words: 156 200
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 78 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 64 80
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The content is not well organized.
Try this pattern:
Para 1: introduction. my choice: A or B. agree or disagree.
Para 2:First,reason 1 (1 sentence) + why reason 1(some arguments. 2-3 sentences) + examples for reason 1 (around 2 sentences) + small conclusions (like advantages of reason 1 or comparisons if not reason 1, 1-2 sentences).
Para 3:Second,reason 2 ,blabla... do the same thing like First
Para 4:Third, reason 3 blabla... do the same thing like First but shorter
Para 5: Conclusion.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.0 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 13 15
No. of Words: 292 350
No. of Characters: 1301 1500
No. of Different Words: 156 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.134 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.455 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.41 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 78 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 64 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 41 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 20 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.462 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.666 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.538 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.36 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.626 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.119 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5