Art works have been considered as productions of free, crazy and unrestricted imagination since they born. It's reasonable to think that public or government should not regulate the artists with rules which might have a negative influence on their mind. Here, I'd like to partially accord the given opinion with my perception on this topic.
Initially, the defination of art is something beyond ordinary life, as described in the famous proverb - "art is surreal but comes from real life". It needs creativity, so that it cannot be done with imposed restrictions. A proper example is North Korea, where so many contents, like the misbehavours of the previous president or the dark historical events, are not allowed to be presented in film or books, owing to the political concerns. In doing so, the government, in fact it is the current president, believes that the civilizations can be mindly controlled and loyalty. Obviously, these forbiddens are ridiculous to the outside world , especially for those artists who lived in developed countries.
However, leaving artists thoroughly uncontrolled are not that appropriate for the society, because art works, particularly the ones related to public medium, have great impacts to normal people. Negatively should harmful contents present to publicity due to socially stablizing problems. Like violent fiction and movie, which might direct people to crime, should be published under goverment supervision. According to the goverment statistic data, about 1% teenagers commit serious crime becuase they want to imitate the roles in such novels. Whereas these circumstances, I think an special organization, which could guide public opinion in the way of benefiting the society, is requried in the art producing process. Besides, social harmony is responsible for everyone. Particularly, the artists, who have the most powerful capability to do so, should teach ordinary persons good so that they all can have a happy life.
Conclusively, if the government imposed too much restrictions on artists, they would not produce in high quaility, because of the characteristic of art working. In other side, it has few drawbacks yet with out regulation. In my notion, both of the extreme ways are incorrect, and I prefer the balancing approach, with which all pieces of art works should be filtered and the harmful ones should be published only to those who are capable of appreciate them without doing something bad.
Art works have been considered as productions of free, crazy and unrestricted imagination since they born.
Art works have been considered as the productions of free, crazy and unrestricted imagination since they are born.
public or government should not regulate the artists with rules which might have a negative influence on their mind.
Description: 'their' refers to what? Be sensitive to use pronoun.
these forbiddens are ridiculous
Definitions of forbidden
adjective
not allowed; banned.
a list of forbidden books
can be mindly controlled and loyalty.
can be mildly controlled by loyalty.
Sentence: In my notion, both of the extreme ways are incorrect, and I prefer the balancing approach, with which all pieces of art works should be filtered and the harmful ones should be published only to those who are capable of appreciate them without doing something bad.
Description: The token of is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to of and appreciate
Sentence: Initially, the defination of art is something beyond ordinary life, as described in the famous proverb - 'art is surreal but comes from real life'.
Error: defination Suggestion: definition
Sentence: In doing so, the government, in fact it is the current president, believes that the civilizations can be mindly controlled and loyalty.
Error: mindly Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: Obviously, these forbiddens are ridiculous to the outside world , especially for those artists who lived in developed countries.
Error: forbiddens Suggestion: forbidden
Sentence: Negatively should harmful contents present to publicity due to socially stablizing problems.
Error: stablizing Suggestion: stabilizing
Sentence: Like violent fiction and movie, which might direct people to crime, should be published under goverment supervision.
Error: goverment Suggestion: government
Sentence: According to the goverment statistic data, about 1 teenagers commit serious crime becuase they want to imitate the roles in such novels.
Error: goverment Suggestion: government
Error: becuase Suggestion: because
Sentence: Whereas these circumstances, I think an special organization, which could guide public opinion in the way of benefiting the society, is requried in the art producing process.
Error: requried Suggestion: required
Sentence: Conclusively, if the government imposed too much restrictions on artists, they would not produce in high quaility, because of the characteristic of art working.
Error: quaility Suggestion: quality
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 9 2
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.032 0.07 //sentences are not developed smoothly
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.5 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 9 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 389 350
No. of Characters: 2010 1500
No. of Different Words: 230 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.441 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.167 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.828 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 149 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 122 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 79 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 62 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.611 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.268 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.279 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.47 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.032 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5