Some educational systems make students focus on certain subjects at the age of 15 while others require students to study a wide range of subjects until they leave school What are the benefits of each system Which is better

In today’s society, there are two main kinds of education systems, one is the system that make students pay most of their attention to certain subjects when they turn 15, the other is the structure that need their students to study a number of different subjects until they leave school. These have both benefits and drawbacks, but in my opinion, students should be required to learn certain subjects that really useful for them.
To start, I will discuss about the advantages of each system mentioned above. In terms of studying certain subjects, this type brings children much more time to learn on their major as they do not be distracted by other unimportant subjects. Turning to system of education that make their students study a wide range of disciplines, this obviously give children the opportunity to gain knowlegde on different fields which offer them many kinds of future work. Moreover, while learning a number of separate subjects, children will be able to find out their strength at particular one to pursue.
Although studying many different disciplines brings about a lot of benefits, I would argue that focusing on certain subjects is a superior choice due to major advantages below. Firstly, this education system brings its students comprehensive understanding about the subjects they are learning since it goes deeply to the core of problems raised during the studying. Secondly, requiring children focus on their main subjects since the age of 15 help them create a clear target to follow afterwards. It is because when having had their own target, students can make themselves detail future plans so that they can find a guidance to get their goals. Furthermore, learning many different subjects might be a waste of time due to the fact that students have to study some subjects that irrelevant to their field they are pursuing.
In conclusion, those kinds of the education structure mentioned both have its own advantages, however, in my opinion, I choose learning certain subjects system might be more beneficial.

Votes
Average: 8.6 (4 votes)

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 19, Rule ID: NUMEROUS_DIFFERENT[1]
Message: Use simply 'many'.
Suggestion: many
...ular one to pursue. Although studying many different disciplines brings about a lot of benef...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 671, Rule ID: NUMEROUS_DIFFERENT[1]
Message: Use simply 'many'.
Suggestion: many
... get their goals. Furthermore, learning many different subjects might be a waste of time due t...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 128, Rule ID: AFFORD_VBG[1]
Message: This verb is used with infinitive: 'to learn'.
Suggestion: to learn
...tages, however, in my opinion, I choose learning certain subjects system might be more b...
^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, firstly, furthermore, however, if, moreover, really, second, secondly, so, while, in conclusion, in my opinion

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 13.1623246493 91% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 7.85571142285 115% => OK
Conjunction : 2.0 10.4138276553 19% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 11.0 7.30460921844 151% => OK
Pronoun: 41.0 24.0651302605 170% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 51.0 41.998997996 121% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 8.3376753507 72% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1713.0 1615.20841683 106% => OK
No of words: 334.0 315.596192385 106% => OK
Chars per words: 5.12874251497 5.12529762239 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.27500489853 4.20363070211 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.67575739758 2.80592935109 95% => OK
Unique words: 173.0 176.041082164 98% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.517964071856 0.561755894193 92% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 510.3 506.74238477 101% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.60771543086 93% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 5.43587174349 166% => OK
Article: 1.0 2.52805611222 40% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.10420841683 95% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 0.809619238477 124% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.76152304609 105% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 12.0 16.0721442886 75% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 27.0 20.2975951904 133% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 49.8956550101 49.4020404114 101% => OK
Chars per sentence: 142.75 106.682146367 134% => OK
Words per sentence: 27.8333333333 20.7667163134 134% => OK
Discourse Markers: 10.1666666667 7.06120827912 144% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.01903807615 60% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.67935871743 104% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.9879759519 50% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 3.4128256513 29% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.411406154309 0.244688304435 168% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.148440987448 0.084324248473 176% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0871370918385 0.0667982634062 130% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.251756458708 0.151304729494 166% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.106894654189 0.056905535591 188% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.6 13.0946893788 127% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 52.53 50.2224549098 105% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.44779559118 118% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.6 11.3001002004 112% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.77 12.4159519038 103% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.76 8.58950901804 90% => OK
difficult_words: 59.0 78.4519038076 75% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 13.0 9.78957915832 133% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.8 10.1190380762 126% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 10.7795591182 121% => OK
What are above readability scores?

---------------------

Rates: 73.0337078652 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 6.5 Out of 9
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.