extended family is less important now than it was in the past - sohrab

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extended family is less important now than it was in the past - sohrab

Many people believe that extended family is less important now than it was in the past; however, there are some other people who they disagreed first group. I believe that the first group are right because of some reasons.

First of all, today, people are more involved in their personal life; to explain more, they are spending very massive part of their times for their jobs, money, or other things. People of nowadays, as a result, do not have enough time to pass with their extended family. For example, my father wakes up every morning at six o’clock, he, moreover, eats his breakfast and leaves home until ten PM, he, as a result, when comes back to home, is so tired to go around and see his extended family. This sequence, as a result, leads this fact to become true, extended family is less important.

In addition, the distances between the people are longer than the past; to explain more, people are living in other cities, or in other countries. For example, my grandparents are living in Tabriz, where it is twenty hundred kilo meters far from our living city. The far distances, as a result, are one of the most important reasons for people to their grandparents, cousins, aunts, and uncles.

Finally, development in the technology is one of the important reasons for people, which cause some problems in this case. For example, assume a person who has a cellphone in his pocket, he, as a result, can use his cellphone everywhere. In addition, the mentioned person is able to use his cellphone to call his mother, his father, his grandparents, his aunts, and other member of his family, just by one click. Our character, as a result, has not to go to his family houses and see them, because he could hear their voices everywhere. However, these kind of relations may cause some problems in the future. Our character, who has his cellphone everywhere with him, believes that the whole of the world is in his cellphone; as a result, these reach to our problem, to our topic, the extended family is less important now than it was in the past.

Overall, I believe that the extended family is less important now than it was in the past because, nowadays people are busy more than other who was living in the past era, distances, and huge development in modern technology, which it leads people to rely on things instead of people and family.

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Average: 8 (3 votes)
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there are some other people who they disagreed first group.
there are some other people who disagreed with the first group.

the first group are right because of some reasons.
the first group is right because of some reasons.

Our character, who has his cellphone everywhere with him,
Description: 'who' refers to what? read book how to use 'who, which'

more than other who was living
more than others who were living

modern technology, which it leads people to rely on things instead of people and family.
Description: check books how to use 'which'

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Words: 416 while No. of Different Words: 177

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 18 in 30
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 416 350
No. of Characters: 1857 1500
No. of Different Words: 177 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.516 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.464 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.296 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 129 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 74 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 49 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 31 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.281 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.938 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.386 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.608 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.183 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5