I agree with the claim that the privacy of people is eroding because of the private details being made public more.
First of all, with the rapid development of the Internet, more and more people choose to study or entertain online using various applications rather than do these things offline as in the past. However, since people need to submit their personal information to the applications they use, these details inevitably flow to somewhere like the media through the staff of the applications secretly. In other words, people are losing their right of privacy without their admission and they even don't aware of it.
In addition, people usually don't have other options if they are required to use the application they don't trust. For instance, WeChat is the most famous application for communicating in China. There are a tons of people and companies use WeChat for working or private communications. If a person join such a firm or want to talk with his/her friends online, he/she will probably have to share personal details in WeChat which may leak private information. In these cases, people certainly feel compelled to lose their right to privacy.
Nevertheless, for most normal people, the privacy can always be protected well. On one hand, most applications on the market have a commitment to protect the private details of customers which have legal effect. On the other hand, people have a choice that they don't submit the personal information to the app except for some essential details that must be shared. Through the two points, the privacy of people may not erode when they share their personal details online.
However, the above scenario is a bit idealized. For the first point, the information of customer will be inevitably attained by the staff of the app and they can make a use of these data for their own use like data analysis legally. And there is still a lot of data lost into the wrong hands even if the app has made a legal commitment. For the second point, people can't prevent to share their privacy unintentionally if they do not stay alert at all times. When you are having a personal communication with your friend on WeChat, how could you never display your own information such as your preference or the little thing you go through today?
In conclusion, the personal details are always shared inevitably and people usually need to use the applications which may compel them to submit their personal information for work or socializing so that the right to privacy is eroding.
Votes
Essay reference notes: This topic is refereed from another essay topic, developed by user: Kuldip851
Essay Categories
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: EN_GB_SIMPLE_REPLACE
Message: I is a common American expression, in British English it is more common to use: I
Suggestion: I
I agree with the claim that the privacy o...
^
Line 3, column 203, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[1]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'a ton' or simply 'tons'?
Suggestion: a ton; tons
...n for communicating in China. There are a tons of people and companies use WeChat for ...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 366, Rule ID: CANT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'can't' or 'cannot'?
Suggestion: can't; cannot
...ommitment. For the second point, people cant prevent to share their privacy unintent...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, however, if, may, nevertheless, second, so, still, well, except for, for instance, in addition, in conclusion, such as, first of all, in other words, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 19.5258426966 72% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.4196629213 89% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 14.8657303371 74% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.3162921348 80% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 37.0 33.0505617978 112% => OK
Preposition: 57.0 58.6224719101 97% => OK
Nominalization: 15.0 12.9106741573 116% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2096.0 2235.4752809 94% => OK
No of words: 428.0 442.535393258 97% => OK
Chars per words: 4.89719626168 5.05705443957 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.548423998 4.55969084622 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.62855763187 2.79657885939 94% => OK
Unique words: 199.0 215.323595506 92% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.464953271028 0.4932671777 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 662.4 704.065955056 94% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59117977528 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 6.24550561798 48% => OK
Article: 5.0 4.99550561798 100% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.10617977528 97% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.77640449438 56% => OK
Preposition: 9.0 4.38483146067 205% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 20.2370786517 94% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 23.0359550562 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 49.6482921014 60.3974514979 82% => OK
Chars per sentence: 110.315789474 118.986275619 93% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.5263157895 23.4991977007 96% => OK
Discourse Markers: 9.15789473684 5.21951772744 175% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 4.97078651685 121% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 7.80617977528 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 10.2758426966 117% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 5.13820224719 97% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.83258426966 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.297333001784 0.243740707755 122% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0975947289588 0.0831039109588 117% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0806510852927 0.0758088955206 106% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.187823084893 0.150359130593 125% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0522150556802 0.0667264976115 78% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.9 14.1392134831 91% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 57.61 48.8420337079 118% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.1743820225 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.44 12.1639044944 94% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.53 8.38706741573 90% => OK
difficult_words: 76.0 100.480337079 76% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 11.8971910112 118% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.2143820225 96% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.7820224719 93% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.