The graph below compares the number of visits to two new music sites on the web

Sentence: The vertical axis represents number of visits in thousands while horizontal axis reveal time period in days.
Description: The fragment axis reveal time is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace reveal with verb, present tense, 3rd person singular

Sentence: Their was a cosiderable difference between the figure of users of Pop Parade and Music choice in both begining and ending as compared to middle time period where it was insignificant.
Description: The tag a determiner, possessive is not usually followed by was
Suggestion: Refer to Their and was

Sentence: Morever, it mashroomed to 120000 visits.
Error: mashroomed Suggestion: mushroomed

Sentence: The line graph depicts that from day 1 to 9, the extent of users to Pop Parade diminished radically with flactuations, falling by three fold further it upsurged substantially to around 160000 users on day 11.
Error: flactuations Suggestion: fluctuations

Sentence: Their was a cosiderable difference between the figure of users of Pop Parade and Music choice in both begining and ending as compared to middle time period where it was insignificant.
Error: begining Suggestion: beginning
Error: cosiderable Suggestion: considerable

Sentence: It is, therefore, clear that the number of users elevated remarkable for both sites over given period of time inspite of noticeable flactuations.
Error: inspite Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: flactuations Suggestion: fluctuations

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 7.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 6 2
No. of Sentences: 10 10
No. of Words: 249 200
No. of Characters: 1140 1000
No. of Different Words: 133 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.972 4.0
Average Word Length: 4.578 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.6 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 81 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 47 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 31 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 24 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.9 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 14.159 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.3 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.42 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.661 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.145 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4

Hi sir I would like to ask that If my essay doesnt get at least 7.5 bands then I dont get anypoint ??

what kind of essay I need to write to get points ????

N without spelling errors ..how much score I could get ????

Tnxxx very much sir ..i m so happy to get gift of 50 points.

Sir I tried my level best to get 8.0 or 8.5 in above task 1 but I got only 7.0 what shoud I do more to get 8.0 or 8.5 bands especially in task 1 ??????