write a letter to your manager informing about a training course which will be useful and you have seen in an advertisement.describe the training course.explain what the company can do to help yousay how the course will be useful to you.

Essay topics:

write a letter to your manager informing about a training course which will be useful and you have seen in an advertisement.

describe the training course.
explain what the company can do to help you

say how the course will be useful to you.

Dear Mr. Thompson,

I am writing to you regarding a training course that I came across on our official employee page. While I was going through the advertisement I realize that this training course will be instrumental in accomplishing my job more effectively as well as adding more value to our company.

It is the world’s best problem-solving technique called “shainin” named after the scientist who postulated it. This theory helps to solve one of the most ambiguous and Augean problems in a limited time frame, which seems impossible with any other problem-solving methods. Besides, it is a statistical approach which gives an ample amount of data to prove the solution.

However, this course requires a 6-month training, on top of that 3 months are to be attended as a regular student, while remaining 3 months is the practical application. Additionally, the seats are limited, as well as require a recommendation from the manager. Thus, I will require a 3month study leave together with a certificate showing my experience as a quality engineer.

I would also like to highlight the few benefits of learning the course, first of all, we can reduce our defect cost by a tremendous amount, owing to rapid solution and application, consequently, increasing our overall profit exponentially. In addition to it, I can teach my peers this technique who can apply it in their concerned field, as well as a certification, will be given to me and our company recognizing us as a shainin adherence company.

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Average: 8.7 (3 votes)
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2018-05-19 divya dixit 87 view
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IELTS Writing Task I - IELTS General Training
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Comments

This essay is for IELTS task I, not for IELTS task II, that's the reason you got low marks. Correct marks:

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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 61, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...;s best problem solving technique called apos;shainin apos; named after the scien...
^^
Line 9, column 366, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...erned field, as well as a certification, will be given to me and our company reco...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, consequently, first, however, if, regarding, so, thus, well, while, in addition, as well as, first of all, on top of that

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 9.0 7.48453608247 120% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 4.92783505155 142% => OK
Conjunction : 3.0 5.05154639175 59% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 7.0 3.03092783505 231% => Less relative clauses wanted (maybe 'which' is over used).
Pronoun: 32.0 32.9175257732 97% => OK
Preposition: 28.0 26.3917525773 106% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 3.85567010309 259% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1275.0 937.175257732 136% => OK
No of words: 255.0 206.0 124% => OK
Chars per words: 5.0 4.54256449028 110% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.99608801488 3.78020617076 106% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.0734341856 2.54303337028 121% => OK
Unique words: 164.0 127.690721649 128% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.643137254902 0.622605031667 103% => OK
syllable_count: 399.6 290.88556701 137% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.41237113402 113% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 9.13402061856 99% => OK
Article: 1.0 0.824742268041 121% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 1.83505154639 218% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 0.463917525773 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 1.44329896907 208% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 10.0 12.6804123711 79% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 25.0 16.3608247423 153% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 47.4890513698 44.8134815571 106% => OK
Chars per sentence: 127.5 76.5299724578 167% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.5 16.8248392259 152% => OK
Discourse Markers: 13.6 4.34317383033 313% => Less transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.29896907216 93% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 2.54639175258 79% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 7.41237113402 108% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 1.49484536082 134% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 3.94845360825 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.183670728667 0.216113520407 85% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0624502117358 0.0766984524023 81% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0527856587354 0.0603063233224 88% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.103024137173 0.12726935374 81% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0658261049547 0.0580467560999 113% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.9 8.37731958763 178% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 46.1 70.7449484536 65% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 3.82989690722 230% => Smog_index is high.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 7.45979381443 174% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.02 8.71597938144 138% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.58 7.59969072165 126% => OK
difficult_words: 76.0 41.2886597938 184% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 8.62886597938 168% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 8.54432989691 140% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 8.15463917526 184% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 89.8876404494 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 8.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.