Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of school programmes. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, will all living difficulties, people are paying more attention to benevolent activities. Parent, in particular, wish their children care more about their compatriots while the tendency of donation and giving aid is being improved in them. Therefore, some people believe that the best way to achieve this is to making unpaid community services as a part of mandatory programs in schools. In my view, this is a great flow when it come to practice as it have profound influences in children's social behavior and personality.
First, schools are the most appropriate environments to blossom ...
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Comments
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0o0ps but some silly mistakes! ;)
will all living difficulties,
Suggestion: with all living difficulties,
Sentence: In my view, this is a great flow when it come to practice as it have profound influences in children's social behavior and personality.
Description: The fragment it come to is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace come with verb, past tense
Sentence: As a result, i cared too much in the way of making connection with people and about terms that I choosed to be impressive so that I could persuade them to donate.
Error: choosed Suggestion: No alternate word
choose chose chosen
It is on top list:
http://www.testbig.com/essay-categories/ielts
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 7.5 out of 9 (getting better,no flaws foound,ready for 8.0)
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 328 350
No. of Characters: 1709 1500
No. of Different Words: 192 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.256 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.21 4.6
Word Length SD: 3.125 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 132 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 104 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 85 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 56 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.867 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.658 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.3 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.506 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.092 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5