When Marion park first opened, it was largest, most popular park in town. While it is still the largest park, it is no longer as popular as it once was. Recently collected statistics reveal the park's drop in popularity: about 45 cars per day enter the p
Here the author states that Marion park is losing its popularity and the town council should approve funding for additional parking because the Midtown park has lot of space for parking and hence it has lot of visitors. Here the author supports with weak conclusions with no sufficient data.
The author does not give enough details about the park when it was created and were there any other parks at the time it was created. If that was the only park then obviously people were going more at that time since, it was the only park for people to relax and enjoy the environment.
Also the author does not look into how many people enter the park but, he is concluding based on the number of cars enter the park. As this can be a totally wrong conclusion because, many people might visit the park by walking, jogging, or by other means of transport. Hence, the author should get the statistics of how many people enter the park rather than how many cars.
The author states that the Midtown park is in the center of downtown and hence, people might visit the park to sit and relax and enjoy the downtown view. Therefore, people might go to the Midtown park.
If the author really thinks that the Marion park is losing its visitors, then instead of increasing the parking lot space, if they can improve the park by increasing the number of benches, maintaining the walking and bike trails, and by increasing the gardening then the number of visitors might be increased and the park may regain its popularity. The author should provide many other amenities which attracts visitors and not just increase the parking space.
To support the argument the author should provide specific details about the number of people visiting, and checking if the park really losing its visitors by having a detailed survey.
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flaws:
No. of Different Words: 136 200
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 12 15
No. of Words: 316 350
No. of Characters: 1459 1500
No. of Different Words: 136 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.216 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.617 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.162 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 102 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 60 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 34 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 19 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26.333 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 12.743 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.455 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.757 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.185 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5