DELTA'S KEY TO THE NEXT GENERATION TOEFL TEST
Page 403
Exercise 4.5.A
In this set of materials, the reading passage explains about antibiotics such as penicillin and, makes a literature review. It states that the antibiotics are efficient in curing most of the diseases. Nevertheless, the listening passage remarks that in some cases, bacteria resist against the antibiotics.
The professor clarifies that in some diseases, bacteria resist against the antibiotics; in fact, antibiotics lose their effectiveness. In 1950, almost one third of the patients could not be cured by antibiotics. In another example, a patient should take antibiotics four times a day to find his/her health. The reason of the resistant is that when an antibiotic attacks to a colony of bacteria, a few cells will be survived. Afterward, they will be duplicated and will grow again. Hence, the antibiotic will not be able to overcome the bacteria completely.
As we perceive, the reading passage claims that most the diseases could be cured by antibiotic. In the contrary, the listening passage casts doubt on the reading passage by making some examples and reasons to refuse its statement.
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flaws:
Not on the right format.
The correct pattern:
para 1: introduction
para 2: doubt 1
para 3: doubt 2
para 4: doubt 3
Don't need to reiterate the contents of reading passages in the introduction paragraph.
Don't need a conclusion.
Read sample essays from ETS:
http://www.testbig.com/users/toeflwritingmaster
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 16 in 30
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 11 10
No. of Words: 176 250
No. of Characters: 893 1200
No. of Different Words: 101 150
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.642 4.3
Average Word Length: 5.074 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.82 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 68 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 55 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 39 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 25 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 16 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 3.908 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.455 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.379 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.545 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.149 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 3 4