For the past five years, consumers in California have been willing to pay twice as much for oysters from the northeastern Atlantic Coast as for Gulf Coast oysters. This trend began shortly after harmful bacteria were found in a few raw Gulf Coast oysters.

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For the past five years, consumers in California have been willing to pay twice as much for oysters from the northeastern Atlantic Coast as for Gulf Coast oysters. This trend began shortly after harmful bacteria were found in a few raw Gulf Coast oysters. But scientists have now devised a process for killing the bacteria. Once consumers are made aware of the increased safety of Gulf Coast oysters, they are likely to be willing to pay as much for Gulf Coast as for northeastern Atlantic Coast oysters, and greater profits for Gulf Coast oyster producers will follow.

The author states that the consumers in California pay twice as much for oysters from the northeastern Atlantic coast as far Gulf coast oyster but, after discoverying a kind of harmful bacteria in oysters of Gulf coast, the trend has been decreased. However, after finding a way for killing bacterias by scientists, they will be more likely to pay for oysters of Gulf coast. It is worth to mention that the author has not been considers some another conditions and reasons that may effect the decreasing of paying for Gulf coast oysters that I present as follow:

Firstly, the author mentions to finding harmful bacteria as the only reason of decreasing in payment for gulf coast oyster. However, it might has another reasons. The quality of the two sort of oysters has never been discussed. The quality of northeastern Atlantic oysters might be supperior that gulf coast oyster. Hence, people are more likely to buy it and moreover, its price will be higher. Therefor, harmful bacteria is not the only reason of decreasing sale.

Secondly, the author mentions that scientists have discovered a way to kill the bacteria but, he/she never explains that how much it has been successful? Does has the way a good effect on eleminating the bacteria? There is no evidance that shows how much the discovered drug has been success in curing bacteria.

As a summary, the reasons that the author has presented to prove his/her claim is so weak. It Is not true that decreasing of sales in Gulf oysters just relates to finding a harmful bacteria and another conditions such as quality and effectiveness of the drug must be considered.

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2016-11-23 ameri 66 view
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Sentence: It is worth to mention that the author has not been considers some another conditions and reasons that may effect the decreasing of paying for Gulf coast oysters that I present as follow:
Description: The fragment 'has not been considers some another conditions' is rare

Sentence: However, it might has another reasons.
Description: A determiner/pronoun, singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to another and reasons

Sentence: Therefor, harmful bacteria is not the only reason of decreasing sale.
Description: The fragment , harmful bacteria is not usually followed by is
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace is with are

Sentence: It Is not true that decreasing of sales in Gulf oysters just relates to finding a harmful bacteria and another conditions such as quality and effectiveness of the drug must be considered.
Description: A determiner/pronoun, singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to another and conditions

Sentence: The author states that the consumers in California pay twice as much for oysters from the northeastern Atlantic coast as far Gulf coast oyster but, after discoverying a kind of harmful bacteria in oysters of Gulf coast, the trend has been decreased.
Error: discoverying Suggestion: discovering

Sentence: The quality of northeastern Atlantic oysters might be supperior that gulf coast oyster.
Error: supperior Suggestion: superior

Sentence: Does has the way a good effect on eleminating the bacteria?
Error: eleminating Suggestion: eliminating

Sentence: There is no evidance that shows how much the discovered drug has been success in curing bacteria.
Error: evidance Suggestion: evidence

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 4 2
No. of Words: 278 350

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 4 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 278 350
No. of Characters: 1316 1500
No. of Different Words: 126 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.083 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.734 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.533 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 94 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 74 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 41 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 25 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.857 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.804 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.714 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.381 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.585 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.131 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5

Thanks for your comments.
I have a question? How much near is your scoring system to the real score that I would take? For instance, if I take 4 base on your evaluation, may I take the same score in real exam (in the same topics)?