please rate this, argument essay
argument topic:
Woven baskets characterized by a particular distinctive pattern have previously been found only in the immediate vicinity of the prehistoric village of palea and therefore were believed to have been made only by the palean people. Recently, however, archaeologists discovered such a palean basket in lithos, an ancient village across the brim river from palea. The brim river Is very deep and broad, and so the ancient paleans could have crossed it only by boat, and no palean boats have been found. Thus it follows that the so-called palean baskets were not uniquely palean.
ESSAY:
Author of this argument, has claimed that, since woven baskets of distinctive pattern were only found in the immediate vicinity of the palea village, they believed that those baskets were made only by them but once similar kind of baskets were found in lithos village, author has come to conclusion that palean baskets were not unique to palean. However the information provided does not justify the conclusion.
In this argument, author has made a wrong assumption that, since woven baskets were found only in immediate vicinity of palea village, hence it must be unique to that village and only palean people made woven baskets of this distinctive pattern. Assumptions can be made but it has to be supported by proper information but in this case author does not have proof. For example, archaeologists might have been concentrating more in palea village than lithos village. once they started concentrating in lithos village they found woven baskets there also. This shows that author has come to a wrong conclusion that woven baskets of distinctive pattern, were made only by palean people.
Let it be any product, once it has become popular in a particular locality, slowly seeing its popularity, people will start making it in different places and thus the place at which the product initially evolved, may be least concern for the people or even people may forget it. Thus author had made a wrong assumption, that since baskets were found in the vicinity of palea, it must be made by palean people.
Another assumption which the author made is, since no palean boats were found, paleans could not have crossed the river. Now the brim river is very deep and broad but it may or may not be the case in the past and one more thing to be considered is, in ancient time there may be a wooden bridge to cross the river or any other way to reach lithos village. for example in India, in the past, they do not make boats like we have now a days, boats were made by tying trees together using strong ropes, after so many years if archeologist try to find it, they will get only pieces of wood, which will not be like a boat.
concluding, in over all author has stated that these baskets were not uniquely belonged to palea village. since same kind of baskets were found in lithos village. if archaeologists has found some written information like stone carvings etc. then they can conform that this particular type of woven baskets belonged to lithos or palean or its origin is from some other people. Unless and until they have some solid information, they cannot arrive at a conclusion.
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Comments
please rate this, argument essay
The case of advocating the Palean baskets not being unique to the village of Palea merely on the basis of an archaeological study seems pretty much a farce. The findings made by the archaeologists are insufficient to make such a claim.
Firstly, the author presumes the Brim River between Palea and Lithos to be the only route by which Palean Baskets could be transferred and simply ignores the possibility of routes, might be much easier to travel which could have been used for the transportation.
Secondly, if for the sake of compliance, we conform to author’s presumption of the Brim River to be the only route between the two villages. Then, there is no need for a Palean boat for the transport. A boat from a source other than Palea might be used for the transport.
Thus, the author makes some assumptions which seriously undermine his conclusion.
Sentence: Author of this argument, has claimed that, since woven baskets of distinctive pattern were only found in the immediate vicinity of the palea village, they believed that those baskets were made only by them but once similar kind of baskets were found in lithos village, author has come to conclusion that palean baskets were not unique to palean.
Description: The fragment not unique to is not usually preceded by were
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace were with was
Sentence: Now the brim river is very deep and broad but it may or may not be the case in the past and one more thing to be considered is, in ancient time there may be a wooden bridge to cross the river or any other way to reach lithos village. for example in India, in the past, they do not make boats like we have now a days, boats were made by tying trees together using strong ropes, after so many years if archeologist try to find it, they will get only pieces of wood, which will not be like a boat.
Description: The fragment archeologist try to is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace try with verb, past tense
Sentence: Unless and until they have some solid information, they cannot arrive at a conclusion.
Description: The tag a conjunction, subordinating is not usually followed by and
Suggestion: Refer to Unless and and
Flaws:
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.75 0.12
No. of Different Words: 178 200
Check out online to see what is 'Discourse Markers'.
Total:
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 12 15
No. of Words: 450 350
No. of Characters: 2091 1500
No. of Different Words: 178 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.606 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.647 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.348 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 132 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 86 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 43 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 30 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 37.5 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 25.444 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.75 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.441 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.662 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.107 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5