The following appeared in a newsletter offering advice to investors.
"Over 80 percent of the respondents to a recent survey indicated a desire to reduce their intake of foods containing fats and cholesterol, and today low-fat products abound in many food stores. Since many of the food products currently marketed by Old Dairy Industries are high in fat and cholesterol, the company's sales are likely to diminish greatly and company profits will no doubt decrease. We therefore advise Old Dairy stockholders to sell their shares, and other investors not to purchase stock in this company."
According to the given passage, the author recommends that current stockholders and potential stockholders should not purchase stock in Old Dairy Industries. To support his/her claim, the author cites a recent study and points out the nature of Old Dairy Industries' products which go against the market demands. However, some pieces of evidence given in the passage needs to be scrutized well since it relies on invalid warrants.
To begin with, the author claims as such by citing a recent survey that potential consumers' preference is inclined to the low-fat products. However, there are many suspicious points within this cited survey. Respondents may have answered that they are willing to reduce their intake of foods with high fat and cholesterol; nevertheless, since this survey was done recently and not repetitively done, this preference may have been temporary phenomenon. That is, it is possible that at different time period people may response that they prefer something very sweet or greesy which contain high fats and cholesterols.
Not only that, even though the author mentioned that majority of respondents (over 80 percent) answered as such, the survey remains unreliable unless the respondents' data was collected with appropriate research procedure specifically on the composition of respondents (i.g. age, income, sex), the sufficient number of respondents in order to generalize the survey results. If certain backgrounds of respondents was not filtered or respondents number was too small, the author inevitably loses his/her rationale. Thus, further evidence on the survey is needed.
Moreover, the respondents showed their desire rather than actual behavior on consuming healthy food. The desire never brings the actual action; that is, their desire isn't their firm decision. It may be dangerous to rely on such unstable attitudes in business.
Moreover, the author maintains that people won't consume the Old Dairy's products and its profits will decrease. However, the author neglects that the mentioned products which is high in fat is 'currently' 'marketed' products. Considering the fact that not all products are being marketed, the number of products with high fats might be insignificant among the total number of products. Additionally, since the high in fat and cholesterol products were just currently marketed, it is possible that Old Dairy might have marketed their products for healthier aspects for the most of their marketing time. Therefore, the author should not draw rather hasty conclusion by such short-term marketing strategy.
In sum, the author should provide further evidence to support the claim that it may be risky to hold Old Dairy's stocks.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
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| 2022-10-01 | SUDIPTA BARUA | 58 | view |
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- not OK or duplicated to argument 1
argument 3 -- not OK or duplicated to argument 1
argument 4 -- duplicated
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 2.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 422 350
No. of Characters: 2220 1500
No. of Different Words: 214 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.532 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.261 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.684 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 178 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 123 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 96 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 58 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.211 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.536 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.684 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.311 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.543 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.113 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 83, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'consumers'' or 'consumer's'?
Suggestion: consumers'; consumer's
...y citing a recent survey that potential consumers preference is inclined to the low-fat p...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 153, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'respondents'' or 'respondent's'?
Suggestion: respondents'; respondent's
...he survey remains unreliable unless the respondents data was collected with appropriate res...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 6, column 166, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: isn't
...he actual action; that is, their desire isnt their firm decision. It may be dangerou...
^^^^
Line 6, column 260, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...on such unstable attitudes in business. Moreover, the author maintains that peop...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
however, if, may, moreover, nevertheless, so, therefore, thus, well, as to, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 19.6327345309 112% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.9520958084 85% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 11.1786427146 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 17.0 13.6137724551 125% => OK
Pronoun: 36.0 28.8173652695 125% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 48.0 55.5748502994 86% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 16.3942115768 37% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2280.0 2260.96107784 101% => OK
No of words: 418.0 441.139720559 95% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.45454545455 5.12650576532 106% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.52162009685 4.56307096286 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.75091323696 2.78398813304 99% => OK
Unique words: 219.0 204.123752495 107% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.523923444976 0.468620217663 112% => OK
syllable_count: 679.5 705.55239521 96% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 4.96107784431 141% => OK
Article: 13.0 8.76447105788 148% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.22255489022 166% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 19.7664670659 96% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 71.6015831082 57.8364921388 124% => OK
Chars per sentence: 120.0 119.503703932 100% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.0 23.324526521 94% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.68421052632 5.70786347227 82% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.227481882011 0.218282227539 104% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0657789396347 0.0743258471296 89% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0554523852907 0.0701772020484 79% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.101382822631 0.128457276422 79% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0719586010122 0.0628817314937 114% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.2 14.3799401198 106% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 49.15 48.3550499002 102% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.197005988 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.33 12.5979740519 114% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.85 8.32208582834 106% => OK
difficult_words: 109.0 98.500998004 111% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 12.3882235529 73% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.