money reward cannot be the best way to encourage the children.
Nowadays, there are increasing opinions on how to encourage the confidence or willing of children in their study. Some people hold that offering their school-age children money is a good way to reward for the great mark in study. This view seems to be practical but ignore the fact of leading misunderstand of grade for the school-age children or affecting the unmatured consuming views of children. Thus, I believe that money reward cannot be the best way to encourage the children.
Most importantly, offering money as a reward will lead to the misunderstand of grade for the school-age children. As is known to us, the interest or passion is the main drive of learning new knowledge. However, if we use money as a main steam for children to maintain a better grade or mark in school, the children may take money or grade as their first consideration rather than interest or passion. In a more extreme case, it is reported in newspaper recently that the main goal of young boy in primary school turned out to be the richest person in the world, because his parents always told him that money makes everything possible and all the money can be made after the hard work in study. However, this poor boy did not have enough ability to identify black or white, and thus was misled by his parents' wrong words. Moreover, it can be imagined what offering money as a reward will bring to the children?
Furthermore, the excessive rewarded money will affect the unmatured consuming views of children. When I was a young boy, my mum only gave me few moneys for breakfast, because some of my classmates always spent the major amount of their pocket money even the money for breakfast on buying some littles toys, so she was always worried whether I had a bad consuming view. Therefore, once children get much money from the reward, they are more likely to buy whatever they want even ignore their own health. Gradually, they may form a bad habit of consuming, which has a great impact on their future.
Admittedly, offering money as a reward may be a way to encourage the children confidence or willing in study. However, There are numerous ways to promote the children confidence or willing, like travelling with their children, enough compliments or positive feedback. It may bring more benefits not only to children's study, but to the relationship of different generations.
As many other ways to promote the children confidence or willing, which will not lead to the misunderstand of grade for the school-age children or will not affect the unmatured consuming views of children, money reward cannot be the best way to encourage the children.
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- TPO-16 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The best way to travel is in a group led by a tour guide. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. 76
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 59, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
...offering money as a reward will lead to the misunderstand of grade for the school-age children. A...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 97, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... unmatured consuming views of children. When I was a young boy, my mum only gave...
^^
Line 5, column 90, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
...ence or willing, which will not lead to the misunderstand of grade for the school-age children or...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, furthermore, however, if, may, moreover, so, therefore, thus
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 15.1003584229 113% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 9.8082437276 133% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 13.8261648746 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 11.0286738351 63% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 31.0 43.0788530466 72% => OK
Preposition: 50.0 52.1666666667 96% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.0752688172 62% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2189.0 1977.66487455 111% => OK
No of words: 453.0 407.700716846 111% => OK
Chars per words: 4.83222958057 4.8611393121 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.61343653406 4.48103885553 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.67290543982 2.67179642975 100% => OK
Unique words: 208.0 212.727598566 98% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.459161147903 0.524837075471 87% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 675.9 618.680645161 109% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 9.59856630824 94% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.51792114695 171% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.94265232975 40% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 20.6003584229 87% => OK
Sentence length: 25.0 20.1344086022 124% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 66.0185159213 48.9658058833 135% => OK
Chars per sentence: 121.611111111 100.406767564 121% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.1666666667 20.6045352989 122% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.0 5.45110844103 73% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 11.8709677419 126% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.88709677419 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.492080360795 0.236089414692 208% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.200236404254 0.076458572812 262% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.202557738016 0.0737576698707 275% => The coherence between sentences is low.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.35024921456 0.150856017488 232% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.142458580986 0.0645574589148 221% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.9 11.7677419355 118% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 54.56 58.1214874552 94% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 10.1575268817 117% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.03 10.9000537634 101% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.32 8.01818996416 91% => OK
difficult_words: 70.0 86.8835125448 81% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 10.0537634409 119% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.