I agree with the above statement that playing computer games is a waste of time. However, I do not agree that children should not be allowed to play them. This is because I believe that even though children should be advised not to play computer games but not allowing them to play will be a restriction on their freedom of choice. So, a happy in between solution is needed.
I first encountered computer games when I was in class 5. Initially, they caught my attention and I was very much fascinated with them. As, this was the time when computers were beginning to be introduced in India where I was growing up. So, this was very much a new thing for me and so I began to watch other people playing them first as I didn't know anything about it. Gradually I began to warm up and learnt the various keys that were used to play these games. I was extremely excited when I played my first computer game. From then on there was no stopping me and I wanted to play all the time. I was constantly hooked on to the computer and used to play them sometimes even the whole night. I was seriously getting addicted to them to the point where I wasn't paying much attention to my studies and my grades began to fall. This made my parents worry about me and they came to talk to me about it. Initially I was in no mood to listen to them but their love and support helped me in to decrease my time on the games and focus more in the studies. First, it was very difficult as my mind was absorbed in the game but I understood that I need to focus on my studies. So, I made a resolution that I will not play any computer game until I pass my class with good grades. The interesting thing was that by the time I passed my class, I had lost my interest in the computer games and never played them again. I still remember their addiction on me and how hard it was for me to let go of them. Therefore, I do not recommend anyone to play the computer games.
The time that children play computer games could be utilized in number of ways. Children may play outside with their friends and in this way not only build close bonds with them but also improve their health and fitness by involving in various physical activities and sports with their friends. On the other hand, playing computer games doesn't involve any physical activity and play cause obesity and decreased fitness levels among children. Also, children do not need friends to play computer games and so may not form close bonds with their friends and in the long run may suffer isolation. Further, playing and gaining good skills in computer games may not bring them much benefit in their education or career and so it might just turn out as a waste of time in the long run. The time that children may utilize in improving in their studies, sports, fitness, general knowledge and society may get wasted away with no benefit coming out of it. Worse even that if children get addicted to these computer games then they may lose some precious time in sitting in front of a computer and not learning any real life knowledge that may have been helpful for them.
Therefore, for all the above reasons, I strongly believe that playing computer games is a waste of time. Children should be allowed to play them if they want to experience and have fun for some time. However, they should be given warnings about their addicting nature, deleterious effects on the health, education and well being of a person. Thus, children should be discouraged from playing them without restricting them to play. As by restricting them children might want to play them more and may become very well addicts while playing in secret. So, proper knowledge is the best key in this situation so that children can experience them if they want to without getting any ill effects from them.
- TOEFL Official Guide - Practice Test 2 - Integrated Writing - Professors on TV 73
- TPO-01 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?At universities and colleges, sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support.Use specific reaso 60
- Tpo 9. Technology has made children less creative than they were in the past.I completely disagree with this claim that nowadays children are less creative than they were in the past. Here you can see my reasons. 73
- It is important to keep old friends than make new friends 70
- TOEFL integrated writing: Altruism. 3
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 137, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “As” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...d I was very much fascinated with them. As, this was the time when computers were ...
^^
Line 3, column 342, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: didn't
...ch other people playing them first as I didnt know anything about it. Gradually I beg...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 759, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: wasn't
...g addicted to them to the point where I wasnt paying much attention to my studies and...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 338, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
... the other hand, playing computer games doesnt involve any physical activity and play ...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, may, so, still, then, therefore, thus, well, while, as for, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 31.0 15.1003584229 205% => Less to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 22.0 9.8082437276 224% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 30.0 13.8261648746 217% => Less conjunction wanted
Relative clauses : 18.0 11.0286738351 163% => OK
Pronoun: 107.0 43.0788530466 248% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 95.0 52.1666666667 182% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 8.0752688172 161% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3110.0 1977.66487455 157% => OK
No of words: 698.0 407.700716846 171% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.45558739255 4.8611393121 92% => OK
Fourth root words length: 5.1400087186 4.48103885553 115% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.32090629309 2.67179642975 87% => OK
Unique words: 273.0 212.727598566 128% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.39111747851 0.524837075471 75% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 954.9 618.680645161 154% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 18.0 9.59856630824 188% => OK
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.51792114695 28% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.94265232975 40% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 33.0 20.6003584229 160% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 20.1344086022 104% => OK
Sentence length SD: 44.0450766681 48.9658058833 90% => OK
Chars per sentence: 94.2424242424 100.406767564 94% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.1515151515 20.6045352989 103% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.27272727273 5.45110844103 60% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 25.0 11.8709677419 211% => Less positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 3.85842293907 181% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.88709677419 20% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.394673233191 0.236089414692 167% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.143659543609 0.076458572812 188% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.109380041032 0.0737576698707 148% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.322328972173 0.150856017488 214% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.119234164395 0.0645574589148 185% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.2 11.7677419355 87% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 67.08 58.1214874552 115% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 10.1575268817 90% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 8.59 10.9000537634 79% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 6.67 8.01818996416 83% => OK
difficult_words: 88.0 86.8835125448 101% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 6.5 10.002688172 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 10.0537634409 103% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.