TPO-10 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Playing computer games is a waste of time. Children should not be allowed to play them.Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Submitted by yjkim192 on Sun, 10/07/2018 - 03:41

There are several games out in the world including RPG, FPS etc that people enjoy. However, some people claim that playing computer games is harmful to children so they should stay away from them. While I do agree excessive game play should be prevented, I disagree with the statement that games are just a waste of time to kids.

The main reason for my statement is playing computer games is one of the best way to make friends. People can nowadays meet friends online inside a game and play together. Also, lots of friends like to talk about common games they enjoy together. Either way games are one of the best way to bond with others. To illustrate this point with my example, I play a game called "Fortnite". It is an online battle royal game where 100 people from all over the world play a sudden death game. You can link with your friends and team up together which doubles up the fun. In fact, it is one of the most enjoyable ways to spend time with friends. Also, whenever I meet a new person and he or she happens to play Fortnite we tend to bond with each other more easily. Thus, it would be nonsense to hinder kids to play games when it is the easiest way to make friends.

Furthermore, computer games is one of the best ways to relieve stress and regain will. Children experience lots of stress from their studies, test, peer pressure and they need a way to relieve them. Playing games have this certain magic that helps children to forget all the anxiety and frustrating situation they go through and refresh their minds. Thus, unless their game time is interrupting their studies they should in fact, be encouraged to enjoy games. For example, when I was in middle school most of the time after class I always felt exhausted and just wanted to go to bed even when I needed to do my homework. Whenever I felt that way I played computer games for about an hour to enhanced my mood. This actually motivated me to forget my tiredness and finish school work that was needed to be done.

All in all, because playing computer games is one of the most efficient ways to bond with friends and the best way to get away from stress it is not true to say that computer games are just a waste of time and children should be forbidden to play them.

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Average: 6 (1 vote)
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 199, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “While” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...ren so they should stay away from them. While I do agree excessive game play should b...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 629, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
...to enjoy spending time with my friends. Also when ever I meet a new person and he or...
^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, furthermore, however, so, thus, while, for example, in fact

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 15.1003584229 99% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 9.8082437276 71% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 13.8261648746 80% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.0286738351 91% => OK
Pronoun: 41.0 43.0788530466 95% => OK
Preposition: 59.0 52.1666666667 113% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 8.0752688172 50% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1651.0 1977.66487455 83% => OK
No of words: 370.0 407.700716846 91% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.46216216216 4.8611393121 92% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.38581623665 4.48103885553 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.33924969085 2.67179642975 88% => OK
Unique words: 177.0 212.727598566 83% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.478378378378 0.524837075471 91% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 497.7 618.680645161 80% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.3 1.51630824373 86% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 9.59856630824 31% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.94265232975 20% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.6003584229 83% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 21.0 20.1344086022 104% => OK
Sentence length SD: 42.226608971 48.9658058833 86% => OK
Chars per sentence: 97.1176470588 100.406767564 97% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.7647058824 20.6045352989 106% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.82352941176 5.45110844103 70% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 11.8709677419 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.88709677419 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.313627409844 0.236089414692 133% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.114632669921 0.076458572812 150% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0879912153966 0.0737576698707 119% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.234778226028 0.150856017488 156% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0691224594052 0.0645574589148 107% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.5 11.7677419355 89% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 75.54 58.1214874552 130% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 7.9 10.1575268817 78% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 8.59 10.9000537634 79% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 6.73 8.01818996416 84% => OK
difficult_words: 48.0 86.8835125448 55% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 10.002688172 90% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 10.0537634409 103% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?

---------------------
We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.