98.If you were asked to send one thing representing your country to an international exhibition, what would you choose? Why? Use specific reasons and details to explain your choice.
The identity of a country is the most important thing for each country's people. Generally, each country has a special symbol which introduces that country in the world. Certainly, my country is not exception, eventhough it has a variety of things, those are worthwhile for me, but if I want to chose one thing I will select an unexpected one. I would prefer to select a picture of the "Perspolis", the historical city in Shiraz, Iran. It seems to me that, the image from that place will be appropriate for the exhibition and will represent my country's Civilization, history, and culture.
The main reason for this dicision is presenting my country's civilization's existence to the world. All in all, each country's identity is based on it's civil. Archeologists have estimated Perspolis's age, more than 3500 years. Which means since that time my father's are lived in this country and was a citizen. However the majority of people neglect this point but considering some of the Europen countries which are vanished or emerged suddenly, our country is much prior to countries such as them. Thus, I am positive that, a picture from the Perspolis site can exhibit my countries civilization to the world.
Second important thing that picture can depict is a history of my country. Surely, the picture from the past can illustrate each illustrates each lands story. On the walls of the Perspolis we can find some frescos about ancient peoples wars and their destiny. For example, we can see a lithogrophy which shows the war between Iranians and Rome Emprore and that's story. Thus, I am certain that, if people see the image from Perpolis they will be familiar with my country's history.
Last but not least is discribing our culture. On the walls of the Perspolis some picture from our ancient costoms and cultures are depicted. Visiting this place, lots of visitors have become familiar and intrested in our culture. For instance, once a china girl asked me about "Nowros eiv" in Iran. It was very unexpected for me that, from where she was known this, after a while she related that, he had gone to Perspolise and knew about this eiv from the pictures depicted un walls. I am convinced that, this image can be a tool to introducing our culture to the world.
In my opinion the best choice for representing my country in a exhibition is an image from Perspolis site. Because it can illustrate our civilization, history, and finally our culture. In my view point, by examining each contry's History we can know that country completely
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- Tpo 22 integrated writing 80
- 98 If you were asked to send one thing representing your country to an international exhibition what would you choose Why Use specific reasons and details to explain your choice 70
- TOEFL integrated writing: The sea otter 70
Sentence: All in all, each country's identity is based on it's civil.
Description: The token on is not usually followed by a pronoun, personal, nominative, 3rd person singular
Suggestion: Refer to on and it's
However the majority of people neglect this point but considering some of the Europen countries
However the majority of people neglect this point but conside some of the Europen countries
can illustrate each illustrates each lands story.
can illustrate each land's story.
Sentence: Certainly, my country is not exception, eventhough it has a variety of things, those are worthwhile for me, but if I want to chose one thing I will select an unexpected one.
Error: eventhough Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: The main reason for this dicision is presenting my country's civilization's existence to the world.
Error: dicision Suggestion: division
Sentence: For example, we can see a lithogrophy which shows the war between Iranians and Rome Emprore and that's story.
Error: lithogrophy Suggestion: lithography
Sentence: Last but not least is discribing our culture.
Error: discribing Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: On the walls of the Perspolis some picture from our ancient costoms and cultures are depicted.
Error: costoms Suggestion: customs
Sentence: Visiting this place, lots of visitors have become familiar and intrested in our culture.
Error: intrested Suggestion: interested
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 6 2
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 21 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 6 2
No. of Sentences: 25 15
No. of Words: 433 350
No. of Characters: 2043 1500
No. of Different Words: 206 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.562 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.718 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.634 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 133 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 116 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 70 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 50 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.32 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.727 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.48 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.31 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.493 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.112 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5