Nowadays, education acts as an important role in developing the nation. Many people are starving for the food, and they aren't educating their children because they don't have money to send their children to school. Even though their children are very talented in sports, they would not let to go to school. Since many colleges have financial aid to those who scored better in classes, they won't provide financial support to sports and social activities. In my opinion, university and the colleges should grant equal financial assistance whether it is sports or social activities which just treat the same importance as classes and libraries. Because of two reasons: Students are talented in sports, but they don't have money to get into university and Students with good skills in other activities have put the same effort as the class rank holder.
First of all, students, who are very talented, don't able to pay their education fee. Their parents are spending more time in work to feed them. Once they have grown up, even they will have the same job and it this chain continues. People are suffering from poverty, food, and job. For them, work is important than education. If university and college would provide aid in sports or social activities, then these people would have sent their children to university. Talented students will innovate the new ideas and participate in the research field within the university, and the university name will become famous. These talented students will get their job, and they can take care of their children's education. They can also own their business. If this chain continues, then there will be no issues of poverty, food, and job. Thus University and colleges should give equal financial to sports or social activities.
Secondly, students who are performing well in sports, put more effort into learning the new technics in the games. These students have to attend the classroom and practice the game daily. They concentrate on both by putting more strategy on playing and getting the score with minimum requirement whereas class rank holder concentrates only on studies, and he/she gets good marks in the exam. In this cases, both are performing very well in their activities, and there are no ways to differentiate in the financial aid since they are good at their performance. So, University should provide the financial support to the sport.
In conclusion, everyone has own talent to show. There should be given financial aid to students, and treat sports and social activities are just as important as classroom and library. Because some talented people are poor who don't have money to pay, and students spend the same effort in either sports and social activities or classroom and libraries.
- TPO 1, Integrated Writing 3
- TPO-33 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?When teachers assign projects on which students must work together, the students learn much more effectively than when they are asked to work alone on projects.Use spe 60
- TPO-01 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?At universities and colleges, sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support.Use specific reaso 73
- TPO-01 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?At universities and colleges, sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support.Use specific reaso 73
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 121, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: aren't
...ple are starving for the food, and they arent educating their children because they d...
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Line 1, column 165, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...t educating their children because they dont have money to send their children to sc...
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Line 1, column 709, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...udents are talented in sports, but they dont have money to get into university and S...
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Line 2, column 48, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...f all, students, who are very talented, dont able to pay their education fee. Their...
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Line 2, column 830, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...be no issues of poverty, food, and job. Thus University and colleges should give equ...
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Line 3, column 10, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... sports or social activities. Secondly, students who are performing well in spor...
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Line 3, column 396, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: these
... he/she gets good marks in the exam. In this cases, both are performing very well in...
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Line 4, column 15, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...al support to the sport. In conclusion, everyone has own talent to show. There s...
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Line 4, column 228, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...cause some talented people are poor who dont have money to pay, and students spend t...
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, second, secondly, so, then, thus, well, whereas, in conclusion, first of all, in my opinion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 15.1003584229 106% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 9.8082437276 143% => OK
Conjunction : 28.0 13.8261648746 203% => Less conjunction wanted
Relative clauses : 5.0 11.0286738351 45% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 36.0 43.0788530466 84% => OK
Preposition: 52.0 52.1666666667 100% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.0752688172 99% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2294.0 1977.66487455 116% => OK
No of words: 454.0 407.700716846 111% => OK
Chars per words: 5.05286343612 4.8611393121 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.61598047577 4.48103885553 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.5288147106 2.67179642975 95% => OK
Unique words: 201.0 212.727598566 94% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.442731277533 0.524837075471 84% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 702.0 618.680645161 113% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 9.59856630824 73% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.51792114695 171% => OK
Conjunction: 10.0 1.86738351254 536% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 20.6003584229 121% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 20.1344086022 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 50.7072223653 48.9658058833 104% => OK
Chars per sentence: 91.76 100.406767564 91% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.16 20.6045352989 88% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.52 5.45110844103 83% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 9.0 5.5376344086 163% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 11.8709677419 126% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.88709677419 123% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.159089455168 0.236089414692 67% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0565278481311 0.076458572812 74% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.081539418665 0.0737576698707 111% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.11882386257 0.150856017488 79% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0380619238699 0.0645574589148 59% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.4 11.7677419355 97% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 61.67 58.1214874552 106% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 10.1575268817 90% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.71 10.9000537634 107% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.24 8.01818996416 90% => OK
difficult_words: 78.0 86.8835125448 90% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.0537634409 92% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.