TOEFL Essay: What historical event in your country has had a major effect on your country?
History has always been a sharp blade in cutting countries apart or sewing different peices of land as cloth together in forming one new country. There have been different kinds of reasons in forming such happenings. Happenings that not only have been a great point in history but also a great point in the settlers of one lands lives. They can be mainly grouped into the following three main catagories: Natural effects, Economic effects and war. These effects have changed my country Iran in diverse ways.
At first, natural effects such as commonly called mega disasters can effect a country. This effect can result in many changes towards its inhabitants lives. Disasters such as earthquake or floods created from heavy rainings are the two main natural effects happening in Iran. The great earthquake of the city Bam, in Kerman ministry, ruined a lot of historical evidences which belonged to more than two-thousand years ago. One of these historical buildings was the great castle of Bam which had hundreds of thousands of visitors every year.
Second, the social effects of a loose economy has changed the life style of many. This has resulted in overcrowded cities with less jobs. Many people migrate from the country side to the cities to find better jobs to earn a living. This has brought many problems for the country which started mainly at 1995 and is still continued.
Last but not least, Iran has experienced eight years of war. This war started a couple years after Iran's revelution in 1980. The starter was Iran's neighbour country Iraq. This war not only distroyed many industrial plants, farmland and main country supplies, but also left millions dead or homeless. For example the province of Khouzestan had about one million homeless and jobless. Which mainly migrated to the main cities of Iran such as Tehran, Esfahan and Shiraz.
All in all, Iran has experienced much ups and downs in history. Including natural, economical and even social disasters effecting the country. This historical events will remain as notes for youngers, to think on them and decide for Iran's future.
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Sentence: History has always been a sharp blade in cutting countries apart or sewing different peices of land as cloth together in forming one new country.
Error: peices Suggestion: pieces
Sentence: They can be mainly grouped into the following three main catagories: Natural effects, Economic effects and war.
Error: catagories Suggestion: categories
Sentence: This war started a couple years after Iran's revelution in 1976.
Error: revelution Suggestion: revolution
Sentence: This war not only distroyed many industrial plants, farmland and main country supplies, but also left millions dead or homeless.
Error: distroyed Suggestion: destroyed
flaws:
Avg. Sentence Length: 15.217 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 4.952 7.5
The essay is out of topic. You can only talk about one event: What historical event in your country has had a major effect on your country?
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: ?
Category: ? Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 4 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 350 350
No. of Characters: 1713 1500
No. of Different Words: 198 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.325 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.894 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.386 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 128 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 94 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 52 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 33 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 15.217 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 4.952 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.391 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.283 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.507 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.096 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5