An international development organization, in response to a vitamin A deficiency among people in the impoverished nation of Tagus, has engineered a new breed of millet high in vitamin A. While seeds for this new type of millet cost more, farmers will be paid subsidies for farming the new variety of millet. Since millet is already a staple food in Tagus, people will readily adopt the new variety. To combat vitamin A deficiency
The author here makes two claims. First, people of Tagus will readily adopt the new variety of the engineered breed of millet high in vitamin A. The author supports this claim that by presenting the fact that millet is already a staple food of people in Tagus. Secondly, the government will be able to combat vitamin A deficiency among people in the impoverished nation of Tagus. The author eventually, supports this claim by presenting the fact that an international development organization has engineered a new breed of millet which is high in vitamin A and also, assuming that subsidies provided to the farmers to grow this new engineered breed of millet which is more expensive than the conventional breed will absolutely convince them to alter their crop selection. However, I find that both the claims made by the author are unsubstantial and require a close scrutiny.
Firstly, the author claims that people of Tagus will readily adopt the new variety of engineered breed of millet high in vitamin A. However, it can happen that people of Tagus are reluctant enough to make an alteration in their staple diet and hence, deny from adopting to a new breed of millet. Or, it could be that the market selling prices of this new breed of millet are higher owing to the richness of vitamin A. As a result, people of Tagus find the new variety of millet quite expensive and therefore, cannot afford to buy such an expensive crop. Also, it could be that the conventional breed of millet though deficient in vitamin A maybe be rich in some other nutrient which is essential to the body and hence, altering their present breed of millet will compromise the intake of those nutrients and make their body deficient in those nutrients. Therefore, assuming that millet is a staple diet of the people of Tagus the author cannot claim that people of Tagus will readily adopt this new variety of millet.
Secondly, the author claims that government will be able to combat the deficiency of vitamin A among the people in the impoverished nation of Tagus by support from an international development organization which has engineering a new breed of millet rich in vitamin A. Also, the author presents that as this new breed is more expensive than the present ones providing subsidies to the farmers will convince them to grow this breed. However, it could happen that the soil and weather patterns of Tagus are not suitable for cultivation of this new variety of millet and hence, farmers hesitate to grow this new breed of millet. Or, it could be that despite of subsidies provided by the government to promote this new breed of millet farmers find that the profit margins in growing the new breed to be minimal and hence, growing a new breed of millet to be futile. Also, the engineering of a new breed of millet high in vitamin A does prove that it can overcome the problem of vitamin A deficiency unless it is developed successfully and made feasible to be grown. Maybe, it could happen that the new breed of millet is difficult in digesting thus, impeding the absorption of vitamin A among the people of Tagus.
Finally, the claims rest on certain doubtful assumptions. First, that people of Tagus will readily adopt the new breed of millet. Second, the newly engineered breed of millet rich in vitamin A will be developed successfully and making it feasible for production. Third, providing subsidies to farmers will absolutely convince them to cultivate the new breed of millet.
In sum, the claims are unsubstantial as they rest on a number of assumptions. To bolster these claims the author should verify that the newly engineering breed of millet is practically feasible to be produced and also, providing subsidies alone are justifiable to convince the farmers to alter their selection of crop production. Also, the author should verify that the people of Tagus will readily adopt this new breed of millet by preparing a pricing strategy for the new breed of millet crops. All these verifications will provide a strong hold to the claims made by the author.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 695 350
No. of Characters: 3308 1500
No. of Different Words: 197 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 5.134 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.76 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.594 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 239 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 152 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 101 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 72 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 31.591 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 17.665 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.864 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.459 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.593 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.186 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 861, Rule ID: CLOSE_SCRUTINY[1]
Message: Use simply 'scrutiny'.
Suggestion: scrutiny
... author are unsubstantial and require a close scrutiny. Firstly, the author claims that peo...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 926, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[1]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'A doe' or simply 'does'?
Suggestion: A doe; Does
...f a new breed of millet high in vitamin A does prove that it can overcome the problem ...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, finally, first, firstly, hence, however, if, may, second, secondly, so, therefore, third, thus, as a result
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 26.0 19.6327345309 132% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 24.0 12.9520958084 185% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 11.1786427146 107% => OK
Relative clauses : 25.0 13.6137724551 184% => OK
Pronoun: 55.0 28.8173652695 191% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 105.0 55.5748502994 189% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 16.3942115768 85% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3378.0 2260.96107784 149% => OK
No of words: 695.0 441.139720559 158% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.86043165468 5.12650576532 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 5.13447686263 4.56307096286 113% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.64492760723 2.78398813304 95% => OK
Unique words: 198.0 204.123752495 97% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.284892086331 0.468620217663 61% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 1056.6 705.55239521 150% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 4.96107784431 161% => OK
Article: 12.0 8.76447105788 137% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 26.0 19.7664670659 132% => OK
Sentence length: 26.0 22.8473053892 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 79.4420353607 57.8364921388 137% => OK
Chars per sentence: 129.923076923 119.503703932 109% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.7307692308 23.324526521 115% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.34615384615 5.70786347227 76% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 17.0 8.20758483034 207% => Less positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.564503677849 0.218282227539 259% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.220437911331 0.0743258471296 297% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.132873807884 0.0701772020484 189% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.413315800389 0.128457276422 322% => Maybe some contents are duplicated.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.113370054165 0.0628817314937 180% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.8 14.3799401198 103% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 53.55 48.3550499002 111% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 12.197005988 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.2 12.5979740519 89% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.27 8.32208582834 87% => OK
difficult_words: 103.0 98.500998004 105% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 12.3882235529 93% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 11.1389221557 111% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.