Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Young people devote less time to helping their communities nowadays than were they in past.
It is generally accepted that each person should pay due attention to the community where they live, since all of us are /is/ responsible for its proper development. Meanwhile, the changing world seems to create obstacles in that respect, since the life itself limits our involvement in community issues. This is especially true in case of young people, who, I am prone to believe, do not spend sufficient time in order to help their communities. I feel this way for several reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.
To begin with, we, the generation of young people, have to pay much more attention to our education nowadays than it was in the past. This is explained by the fact that the present world is much more competitive than it was, and, consequently, we have to pass through tough competition to succeed in our lives. On the other hand, good education gives more chances to win that contest. My own experience is a compelling example of this. Thus, when I received my master's degree and tried to find a job, I soon realized that in order to succeed I need to continue my education, as there were many other potential employees with the same level of knowledge. As a result, I had to study for more three years, and, of course, this limited my involvement in the community life.
Also, at present it is harder to have a career growth, since there are many hard working and committed individuals around. That is why, in order to receive a better job we should work day and night, paying minimum attention to our other duties. For instance, in my case, I had to work for 9 years all day long in order to have a promotion from the researcher position to the position of the senior researcher. It is hard to imagine that I would have succeeded, if I paid more attention to the local community issues.
To sum up briefly, it is a fact that the changes in life make us more focused on our professional and career issues. We have little time to give to our communities because we have to study more, and because our work takes a lot of time from us.
- TOEFL Sample essay : integrated essay from TPO 14 80
- TPO 52Do you agree or disagree?The rules that societies today expect young people to follow and obey are too strict. 76
- It is better for children to choose jobs that are similar to their parent's jobs than to choose jobs that are very different from their parent's job. 70
- Advertisements do not convey correct information about products. 66
- Television advertising directed toward young children should not be allowed 76
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, briefly, consequently, if, so, thus, while, for instance, i feel, of course, as a result, to begin with, to sum up, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 15.1003584229 99% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 9.8082437276 51% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 13.8261648746 36% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.0286738351 100% => OK
Pronoun: 52.0 43.0788530466 121% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 62.0 52.1666666667 119% => OK
Nominalization: 17.0 8.0752688172 211% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1695.0 1977.66487455 86% => OK
No of words: 375.0 407.700716846 92% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.52 4.8611393121 93% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.40055868397 4.48103885553 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.60959732952 2.67179642975 98% => OK
Unique words: 197.0 212.727598566 93% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.525333333333 0.524837075471 100% => OK
syllable_count: 543.6 618.680645161 88% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 15.0 9.59856630824 156% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 3.51792114695 199% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 10.0 4.94265232975 202% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 20.6003584229 78% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 23.0 20.1344086022 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 39.8118622398 48.9658058833 81% => OK
Chars per sentence: 105.9375 100.406767564 106% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.4375 20.6045352989 114% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.6875 5.45110844103 159% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.5376344086 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.124173645398 0.236089414692 53% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0394611227972 0.076458572812 52% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0486707767514 0.0737576698707 66% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0738727617357 0.150856017488 49% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0476136221338 0.0645574589148 74% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.6 11.7677419355 99% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 65.05 58.1214874552 112% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 10.1575268817 97% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.23 10.9000537634 85% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.68 8.01818996416 96% => OK
difficult_words: 69.0 86.8835125448 79% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 10.002688172 120% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 10.0537634409 111% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.