The primary goal of technological advancement should be to increase people’s efficiency so that they have more leisure time
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take.
Some people argue that the fundamental goal of developing technology is to helping people gain more leisure time. However, I can not agree with this statement. Since technology development provide people with more tools and skills to solve more difficult problems, people always have challenges to tackle. What’s more, with the development of technology, job market is getting more competitive, people have to study more time to gain a job opportunity. For these two reasons, it is hard to say that technological achievement is aiming at providing people with more leisure time.
First of all, Although it is true that the advancement of technology improved the efficiency of our job. The invention of e-mail, for instance, not only facilitated people’s communication for daily conversation but also realized the conversation between people in different cities. However, it doesn’t reduce the time we spend on communication, since the ability of frequent communication enabled us to find more topics and conflicts to discuss with each other, therefore, people are actually spending more time no matter in casual conversation with colleges or business meeting thorough online video chat-room. Considering the more problem occurring, no matter the advancement that we have achieved, we are still busying solve the next one.
Secondly, with the development of technologies, there are less labor work due to the massive use of machine to produce product, in the same time, companies are looking for people with higher education and is capable of solving technological problems such as engineers. As we know, engineer major are among the most difficult majors in college education, students has to spend more time in studying to get admitted into such major, and even after they become an engineer, they still need to sacrifice their leisure time to update their knowledge due to the fast changing of technology.
Admittedly, the industrialize and modernize of our society did bring us lots of leisure activities, such as flights allowed us to travel to different countries, however, to be able to pay for the price to enjoy the high technology, people are firstly needs to work hard and then can play harder.
In a word, the primary goal of technology development may bring about high efficiency world to us, it shorted our distance thorough internet communication, and flight we can take to far away places in a short time, however, it does not slow down our pace and give us more leisure time. Higher technology provide us with chances to solve more problems and required us to study more in order to get a job in the competitive job market, it also required us to earn more money to be able to enjoy the technology convenience.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 7, column 13, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
...changing of technology. Admittedly, the industrialize and modernize of our society did bring ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 522, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...le to enjoy the technology convenience.
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, first, firstly, however, if, look, may, second, secondly, so, still, then, therefore, as to, for instance, such as, first of all, it is true
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 19.5258426966 72% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 12.4196629213 40% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 14.8657303371 74% => OK
Relative clauses : 4.0 11.3162921348 35% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 34.0 33.0505617978 103% => OK
Preposition: 72.0 58.6224719101 123% => OK
Nominalization: 21.0 12.9106741573 163% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2309.0 2235.4752809 103% => OK
No of words: 447.0 442.535393258 101% => OK
Chars per words: 5.16554809843 5.05705443957 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.59808378696 4.55969084622 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.95112473915 2.79657885939 106% => OK
Unique words: 229.0 215.323595506 106% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.512304250559 0.4932671777 104% => OK
syllable_count: 747.0 704.065955056 106% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59117977528 107% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 6.24550561798 128% => OK
Article: 3.0 4.99550561798 60% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.10617977528 129% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.77640449438 113% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.38483146067 182% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 20.2370786517 69% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 31.0 23.0359550562 135% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 88.6652728651 60.3974514979 147% => OK
Chars per sentence: 164.928571429 118.986275619 139% => OK
Words per sentence: 31.9285714286 23.4991977007 136% => OK
Discourse Markers: 11.5 5.21951772744 220% => Less transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.97078651685 101% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 7.80617977528 26% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 10.2758426966 68% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 5.13820224719 117% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.83258426966 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.237485757645 0.243740707755 97% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.10282414186 0.0831039109588 124% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0345694583854 0.0758088955206 46% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.133178520818 0.150359130593 89% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0639610050274 0.0667264976115 96% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 18.9 14.1392134831 134% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 31.55 48.8420337079 65% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.92365168539 141% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 16.6 12.1743820225 136% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.3 12.1639044944 109% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.95 8.38706741573 107% => OK
difficult_words: 107.0 100.480337079 106% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 11.8971910112 88% => OK
gunning_fog: 14.4 11.2143820225 128% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.7820224719 93% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.