In this memo the director of student housing at Buckingham College recommends that Buckingham should construct numerous new dorms. The director registers three plausible proofs to strengthen his or her recommendation. However, to enhance the argument and recommendation based on the argument, specific evidence should be delivered by the director.
To begin with, data and statistics should be trailed in the following fifty years to record whether their enrollment in Buckingham College will double, which makes dorms inadequate. If they do not deliver chronicle of enrollment in the next fifty years, construction of new dorms might be an unsuccessful try and cause them in the tight budget in future. In fact, every college in annual rankings bulletined in Times or other magazines has different ranking results, that is to say, nobody can confidently assume there will double in decades. If the evidence might occur that other colleges have higher employment rate than Buckingham College and enroll more celebrated professors, enrollment of Collegeville will not surely increase in future and building a myriad of dorms might be unwise.
Secondly, surveys should be conducted by the director to investigate whether the housing rent of students has also risen in recent years although the average rent for an apartment in this town has incremented. If surveys’ result is shown that students lived in off-campus housing has paid the same as before or paid less than before, building new dorms still cannot allure them to live back at campus. After all, luxury housing rent might drag average rent increased. Surveys might present that students, despite paying more renting in off-campus housing in recent years, might still choose to live outside the campus because it pays slightly higher than those at campus but more convenient to purchase foods in supermarkets. Unless the director firstly launches a survey to ask whether student rent payment in off-campus houses is higher and whether they would like to live at campus, the recommendation is reckless.
Thirdly, more questionnaires should be handed out by Buckingham to warrant their assumption that beautiful dorms might be a significant determinant for potential students to enroll at Buckingham. Arranging some questions and choices would be better. For example, they can ask students what is the most attraction for you to apply for Buckingham. The answer might be attractive dorms, a bunch of professional experts with researching experiences for decades, or ranking level in the academic achievements globally. The answer to this question chosen by students might be the latter two choices. Only by assuming attractive dorms might be the most desirable bait might the recommendation be lack of contemplations.
To conclude it, the director should deliver more questionnaires and release more surveys to give the proposal a stronger support. Otherwise, building more dorms for Buckingham might fail to increase enrollment but cause financial burden.
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Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- not OK
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- OK
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 470 350
No. of Characters: 2497 1500
No. of Different Words: 230 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.656 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.313 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.842 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 198 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 150 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 104 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 66 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.5 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.33 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.65 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.321 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.563 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.12 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 306, Rule ID: TRY_AND[1]
Message: "Try and" is common in colloquial speech, but "'try to'" is recommended for writing.
Suggestion: try to
...n of new dorms might be an unsuccessful try and cause them in the tight budget in futur...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 345, Rule ID: IN_PAST[1]
Message: Did you mean: 'in the future'?
Suggestion: in the future
... try and cause them in the tight budget in future. In fact, every college in annual ranki...
^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, however, if, second, secondly, so, still, then, third, thirdly, after all, for example, in fact, to begin with, that is to say
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 19.6327345309 87% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 26.0 12.9520958084 201% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 14.0 11.1786427146 125% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 13.6137724551 51% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 22.0 28.8173652695 76% => OK
Preposition: 68.0 55.5748502994 122% => OK
Nominalization: 20.0 16.3942115768 122% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2562.0 2260.96107784 113% => OK
No of words: 470.0 441.139720559 107% => OK
Chars per words: 5.45106382979 5.12650576532 106% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.65612321451 4.56307096286 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.93472366464 2.78398813304 105% => OK
Unique words: 242.0 204.123752495 119% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.514893617021 0.468620217663 110% => OK
syllable_count: 767.7 705.55239521 109% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.22255489022 166% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 19.7664670659 101% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 57.6229988807 57.8364921388 100% => OK
Chars per sentence: 128.1 119.503703932 107% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.5 23.324526521 101% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.65 5.70786347227 134% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.20758483034 134% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.172400226821 0.218282227539 79% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0585494092721 0.0743258471296 79% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0588812194375 0.0701772020484 84% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.108552852243 0.128457276422 85% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0571753906274 0.0628817314937 91% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.0 14.3799401198 111% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 48.13 48.3550499002 100% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 12.197005988 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.63 12.5979740519 116% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.28 8.32208582834 112% => OK
difficult_words: 134.0 98.500998004 136% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 83.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.