People show more anti social behavior towarda others. What are causes and how can we turn it around?

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People show more anti social behavior towarda others. What are causes and how can we turn it around?

Submitted by Amritpal on Sun, 01/26/2014 - 09:31

Gone are the days when people lived with fraternity and had not only harmonious relations but also a great respect towards community members simultaneouly neighbours. Presently, advancement in lifestyle due to modernity has brought several changes in thinking, attitude, thus they do not want to know that who live near them, due to that phenomenon, they lose sense of community. Here, i would like to throw light on causes and remedies to address this concern.

There are manifold causes behind this problem. First and foremost, at present, a massive number of folk is busy in rat race of achieving more and more to accomplish all comforts, therefore they want to out do others. Consequently, people do not tend to meet with distinct persons due to lack of harmony. In addition, deprivation of time to spend with family, neighbour and community members to emerge harmonious relation as well as sense of community among them is leading people to become stranger with neighbour and disrecpectful behaviour in society.

What is more, electronic gadgets are also a prominent cause of this worrying concern as people want to spend more and more time with their favourite gadgets such as television, mobile phones, laptop, video games and so on which lead them towards abrasive behaviour due to no communication, therefore people behave recklessly in society and do not want to meet with anyone. To illustrate, watching bad activities on television, internet such as smoking, drinking, use of profane language stimulate youngster to imitate the actions of their favourite celebrities in their life, thus they behave rudely in community.

Numerous measure point can be put down to address this problem. firstly, people should seak time for their neighbour while weekends to emerge strong kinship among them. Moreover, participating in recreational activities can allow people to meet another peolpe to create harmonious relation and sense of community. Furthermore, celebriting distincts festive occasion with neighbours can prove a lucrative panacea to become familiour with neighbours.

To encapsulate, gaining ground anti social behave has become a worrying concern, thus there is a dire need to take same combine steps by parents teachers and social institution to turn around this gigantic menace.

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Average: 7 (1 vote)
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Comments

Sentence: Gone are the days when people lived with fraternity and had not only harmonious relations but also a great respect towards community members simultaneouly neighbours.
Description: The fragment members simultaneouly neighbours is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace simultaneouly with adjective

Sentence: Presently, advancement in lifestyle due to modernity has brought several changes in thinking, attitude, thus they do not want to know that who live near them, due to that phenomenon, they lose sense of community.
Description: A conjunction, subordinating is not usually followed by a WH-pronoun, nominative
Suggestion: Refer to that and who

Sentence: To encapsulate, gaining ground anti social behave has become a worrying concern, thus there is a dire need to take same combine steps by parents teachers and social institution to turn around this gigantic menace.
Description: An adjective is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to social and behave
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to parents and teachers

Sentence: Gone are the days when people lived with fraternity and had not only harmonious relations but also a great respect towards community members simultaneouly neighbours.
Error: simultaneouly Suggestion: simultaneously

Sentence: In addition, deprivation of time to spend with family, neighbour and community members to emerge harmonious relation as well as sense of community among them is leading people to become stranger with neighbour and disrecpectful behaviour in society.
Error: disrecpectful Suggestion: disrespectful

Sentence: Numerous measure point can be put down to address this problem. firstly, people should seak time for their neighbour while weekends to emerge strong kinship among them.
Error: seak Suggestion: No alternate word

Sentence: Moreover, participating in recreational activities can allow people to meet another peolpe to create harmonious relation and sense of community.
Error: peolpe Suggestion: people

Sentence: Furthermore, celebriting distincts festive occasion with neighbours can prove a lucrative panacea to become familiour with neighbours.
Error: celebriting Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: familiour Suggestion: familiar
Error: distincts Suggestion: No alternate word

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 8 2
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.846 0.12

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 8 2
No. of Sentences: 13 15
No. of Words: 362 350
No. of Characters: 1890 1500
No. of Different Words: 205 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.362 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.221 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.745 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 151 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 116 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 79 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 55 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 27.846 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 13.547 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.846 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.337 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.607 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.109 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5

First of all, the essay can't get 7.5 by the spelling errors:
No. of Spelling Errors: 8

And there are more grammar issues in the essay actually.

But most likely the first sentence decreased the credit greatly:

'... when people lived with fraternity and had not only harmonious relations but also a great respect towards community members simultaneouly neighbours.'.