An international development organization, in response to a vitamin A deficiency among people in the impoverished nation of Tagus, has engineered a new breed of millet high in vitamin A. While seeds for this new type of millet cost more, farmers will be paid subsidies for farming the new variety of millet. Since millet is already a staple food in Tagus, people will readily adopt the new variety. To combat vitamin A deficiency, the government of Tagus should do everything it can to promote this new type of millet.
In response to the vitamin A deficiency found among people in the nation of Tagus, a development organization has engineered a new breed of millet high in vitamin A. The writer recommends that the country of Tagus should promote the new type of millet to combat vitamin A deficiency. While the argument seems to of sound principle, several questions need to be answered before the predicted result can be achieved.
The development organization has seemingly engineered a new breed of millet loaded with vitamin A. Such a crop is targeted toward the people of Tagus, where vitamin A deficiency is common. The question we must ask in this case is weather or not the crop has any side effects. Since this millet is high in vitamin A, it should not produce malicious effects on people who do not suffer from the deficiency. Vitamin A toxicity is also a serious case involving symptoms such as blurry vision, loss of appetite etc. Promoting such crops might not be prudent of the government as it could cause more problems than it solves.
While the farmers growing the new millet breed are to be paid subsidies, we must know how much will the new breed of millet actually cost. Excessive cost might bankrupt the farmers despite the promised subsidies. Farmers also need to be trained in regards to new crops which might discourage them from adopting the new crop.
The writer also says that that the millet is a staple food in Tagus and people will readily adopt the new variety. Another question that needs to be asked here is whether the new breed of millet is different in any way from the old breed. Any changes in size, shape, color and most importantly, taste will not help people adopt the new millet grain as staple. Once the answers regarding the size and shape of the grain are answered, it might help government of Tagus convince people to consume the new seeds instead.
In conclusion, while the argument made to use the newly engineered seeds is an excellent one, providing certain details might help in achieving the predicted result.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
argument 1 --not OK
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- OK
----------------
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 355 350
No. of Characters: 1661 1500
No. of Different Words: 169 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.341 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.679 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.447 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 117 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 84 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 51 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 33 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.357 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.885 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.384 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.64 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.137 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 6, column 246, Rule ID: IN_REGARD_TO[1]
Message: Use simply 'regarding' or 'with regard to'.
Suggestion: regarding; with regard to
...sidies. Farmers also need to be trained in regards to new crops which might discourage them f...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 8, column 22, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: that
...g the new crop. The writer also says that that the millet is a staple food in Tagus an...
^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, if, regarding, so, while, in conclusion, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 19.6327345309 87% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 12.9520958084 124% => OK
Conjunction : 4.0 11.1786427146 36% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 7.0 13.6137724551 51% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 13.0 28.8173652695 45% => OK
Preposition: 45.0 55.5748502994 81% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 16.3942115768 61% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1705.0 2260.96107784 75% => OK
No of words: 355.0 441.139720559 80% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.80281690141 5.12650576532 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.34067318298 4.56307096286 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.51652897297 2.78398813304 90% => OK
Unique words: 174.0 204.123752495 85% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.49014084507 0.468620217663 105% => OK
syllable_count: 530.1 705.55239521 75% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 5.0 8.76447105788 57% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 19.7664670659 86% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 25.6214118933 57.8364921388 44% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 100.294117647 119.503703932 84% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.8823529412 23.324526521 90% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.76470588235 5.70786347227 66% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.20758483034 134% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.530157202629 0.218282227539 243% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.170609340634 0.0743258471296 230% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.133499941153 0.0701772020484 190% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.279437956508 0.128457276422 218% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.124279476476 0.0628817314937 198% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.6 14.3799401198 81% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 59.64 48.3550499002 123% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 12.197005988 81% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.56 12.5979740519 84% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.23 8.32208582834 99% => OK
difficult_words: 81.0 98.500998004 82% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 12.3882235529 97% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.9071856287 84% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.