The president of the brown builders states in the memo to increase sales and profit talks about adapting the strategy of the Domus builders. The president has talked about making larger size of the family room and state of the art kitchen. But the argument of the president is not convincing at all.
President has talked about the nationwide survey which is not justifiable. As a nationwide survey can not show the real trends of the particular region. President has also not talked about the sample size of the survey and not talked about the class of people included in the survey. So on basis of such survey taking decision would be questionable. As per the survey two most desired things among the buyers are the large family room and the large well appointed kitchen. Obviously any layman would aspire a beautiful mansion but it is not always economical to every one as the monetary terms can be constraint in it.
Following the path adopted by the Domus construction is not necessary will give success to Brown builders as there are many factors which can affect the sales of the both builders. Suppose the construction quality and fame of the Domus construction is good in the market and because of that any sort of the construction could be easily sold and people would be ready to give premium price to them. They might be having good investors, or the locations of the building are prime. This might or might not be the case for the brown builders.
President talks about boosting the profit by making the state of the art kitchen and family room. Constructing the state of art kitchen would cost more and large family room will increase the area of the flat indirectly increasing the cost of the building. This might affect them reversely by declination in the sales and the profit. After some period trends shift in every business so for the construction so there is chances that next year there is decline in the buyers of the luxurious home and people prefer compact and studio flats.
By following the idea of removing the dining rooms is not necessary helpful in selling in selling as some customers need both the kitchen and state of the art kitchen and in that case he might lose that customers.
The argument of the president of the brown builders are not convincing as he just wants copy Domus builders in the greed of the profit and increasing the sales without any sort of thinking. The President should also look to the other circumstances before taking any decision hastily for making more profit and avoid copying other builders and try to give more better quality of houses to buyers.
- TOEFL T P O 29 - Integrated Writing Task 3
- Argument Essay"According to a recent report from our marketing department, during the past year , fewer people attended Super Screen-produced movies than in any other year.And yet the percentage of positive reviews about specific Super Screen movies have 29
- "A nationwide survey reveals that the two most-desired home features are a large family room and a large, well-appointed kitchen. A number of homes in our area built by our competitor Domus Construction have such features and have sold much faster an 73
- People who make decisions based on emotion and justify those decisions with logic afterwards are poor decision makers. 50
- People who make decisions based on emotion and justify those decisions with logic afterwards are poor decision makers. 50
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 457 350
No. of Characters: 2129 1500
No. of Different Words: 186 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.624 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.659 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.407 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 143 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 90 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 65 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 41 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.85 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.723 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.45 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.351 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.59 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.149 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 215, Rule ID: STATE_OF_THE_ART[1]
Message: Did you mean 'state-of-the-art'?
Suggestion: state-of-the-art
...king larger size of the family room and state of the art kitchen. But the argument of the presid...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 76, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “As” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...onwide survey which is not justifiable. As a nationwide survey can not show the re...
^^
Line 6, column 166, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...actors which can affect the sales of the both builders. Suppose the construction ...
^^
Line 8, column 57, Rule ID: STATE_OF_THE_ART[1]
Message: Did you mean 'state-of-the-art'?
Suggestion: state-of-the-art
...about boosting the profit by making the state of the art kitchen and family room. Constructing t...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 8, column 411, Rule ID: THERE_S_MANY[3]
Message: Did you mean 'there are chances'?
Suggestion: there are chances
...ery business so for the construction so there is chances that next year there is decline in the ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 10, column 77, Rule ID: PHRASE_REPETITION[1]
Message: This phrase is duplicated. You should probably leave only 'in selling'.
Suggestion: in selling
...e dining rooms is not necessary helpful in selling in selling as some customers need both the kitchen...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 10, column 87, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ooms is not necessary helpful in selling in selling as some customers need both t...
^^
Line 10, column 144, Rule ID: STATE_OF_THE_ART[1]
Message: Did you mean 'state-of-the-art'?
Suggestion: state-of-the-art
...ome customers need both the kitchen and state of the art kitchen and in that case he might lose ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 12, column 356, Rule ID: MOST_COMPARATIVE[2]
Message: Use only 'better' (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
Suggestion: better
... copying other builders and try to give more better quality of houses to buyers.
^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, if, look, so, well, sort of
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 19.6327345309 92% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 17.0 12.9520958084 131% => OK
Conjunction : 21.0 11.1786427146 188% => OK
Relative clauses : 6.0 13.6137724551 44% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 13.0 28.8173652695 45% => OK
Preposition: 61.0 55.5748502994 110% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 16.3942115768 49% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2178.0 2260.96107784 96% => OK
No of words: 457.0 441.139720559 104% => OK
Chars per words: 4.7658643326 5.12650576532 93% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.62358717085 4.56307096286 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.47817008848 2.78398813304 89% => OK
Unique words: 189.0 204.123752495 93% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.413566739606 0.468620217663 88% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 669.6 705.55239521 95% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 4.0 8.76447105788 46% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 19.7664670659 101% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 55.4579795882 57.8364921388 96% => OK
Chars per sentence: 108.9 119.503703932 91% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.85 23.324526521 98% => OK
Discourse Markers: 1.9 5.70786347227 33% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 9.0 5.25449101796 171% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.20758483034 134% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.165992271846 0.218282227539 76% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0542710050924 0.0743258471296 73% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0617640827912 0.0701772020484 88% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0788850371024 0.128457276422 61% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0506210686499 0.0628817314937 81% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.5 14.3799401198 87% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 57.61 48.3550499002 119% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.197005988 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.68 12.5979740519 85% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.49 8.32208582834 90% => OK
difficult_words: 80.0 98.500998004 81% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 12.3882235529 61% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.