The essay maintains that external forces have a major role in shaping individuals' behaviors. I agree that external forces that are not controlled by people have effects on their behavior, but the person himself is more important in deciding what to do. In the following, there are some explanations as well as some exceptions for this position.
Most of the psychologists believe that we need to work on our minds and behavior in the way that we need to consider different ways and external environment, but in the end, we should decide ourselves. Imagine a student who pretends to study because of the forces that push him to do so in his school. Even if he pretends that he is giving much attention to his school works, in reality, he behaves as he believes. Indeed, in spite of many opportunities and the external environment he cannot be successful in his education. On the other hand, consider another student who can improve his education in a very poor country. In fact, there are negative external forces for the second student to push him away from improving and making progress. After elaborating my position and bringing some instances, it is time to mention some exceptions and cases that external forces have a stronger effect on people's behavior.
Some individuals are raised in unhospitable environments both family and society related. Imagine a little child that was born in poor family with an addicted father who does not give a little care to the child. when the child is not mature enough, his mind is shaped with his father's behavior as a external force. It is possible that this child cannot follow some of his dreams and long goals because of the constraints that he has have on his life bacause of his father and the way the child has been raised. This child may behave in some ways that are shaped when he was a little child. He acts spontaneously without thinking about his behavior.
However, in the negative cases that were mentioned in the previous paragraph, there are many individuals who can think themselves and find the proper way in their lives and behave as they think. It is worth mentioning that each individual is responsible for his behavior and this another reason why people also should think about their behavior and shape their behaviors themselves. It is everywhere recommended that people should be optimistic in their lives. Being, acting, and behaving positively assist people to come up with some ways to counter against some external, negative forces.
All in all, individuals play the strongest role in their behavior in spite of some external advantages and disadvantages. Moreover, keeping in mind that we are mainly responsible for our behavior is helpful for society since people do not try to bring some excuses for their wrong behavior. However, there are some exceptions in that even an individual works hard, he has some effects from the external forces or the environment that he lives especially when they are immature and cannot decide for themselves.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 213, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: When
...es not give a little care to the child. when the child is not mature enough, his min...
^^^^
Line 5, column 298, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
... is shaped with his fathers behavior as a external force. It is possible that thi...
^
Line 5, column 434, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Use past participle here: 'had'.
Suggestion: had
... because of the constraints that he has have on his life bacause of his father and t...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, however, if, may, moreover, second, so, well, in fact, as well as, in spite of, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 25.0 19.5258426966 128% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.4196629213 89% => OK
Conjunction : 19.0 14.8657303371 128% => OK
Relative clauses : 25.0 11.3162921348 221% => Less relative clauses wanted (maybe 'which' is over used).
Pronoun: 71.0 33.0505617978 215% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 58.0 58.6224719101 99% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 12.9106741573 70% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2521.0 2235.4752809 113% => OK
No of words: 510.0 442.535393258 115% => OK
Chars per words: 4.9431372549 5.05705443957 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.75217629947 4.55969084622 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.68484934286 2.79657885939 96% => OK
Unique words: 230.0 215.323595506 107% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.450980392157 0.4932671777 91% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 797.4 704.065955056 113% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 6.24550561798 176% => OK
Article: 1.0 4.99550561798 20% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.10617977528 97% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.77640449438 169% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.38483146067 160% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 20.2370786517 114% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 23.0359550562 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 45.5516076588 60.3974514979 75% => OK
Chars per sentence: 109.608695652 118.986275619 92% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.1739130435 23.4991977007 94% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.69565217391 5.21951772744 90% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.97078651685 101% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 7.80617977528 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 10.2758426966 107% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 5.13820224719 136% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.83258426966 103% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.11548060616 0.243740707755 47% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0409433529682 0.0831039109588 49% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0443555686168 0.0758088955206 59% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0832456532026 0.150359130593 55% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0404103175406 0.0667264976115 61% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.9 14.1392134831 91% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 49.15 48.8420337079 101% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.1743820225 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.37 12.1639044944 93% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.58 8.38706741573 90% => OK
difficult_words: 92.0 100.480337079 92% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 11.8971910112 92% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.2143820225 96% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.7820224719 93% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.