TOEFL ESSAY: Do young people enjoy life more than older people?
Every person enjoys his/her life, the bigest present honored to human beings. But when it comes to the issue that getting elder might reduce or increase such enjoying, there are different views that can be discussed. In my view, although the youngsters have more energy than the elders but elders indeed have their own for love towards life, that makes them enjoy life as much as young people do.
As mentioned above, the young people have much more energy. This mainly comes from their healthy situation of their body and experiencing less difficulties from life in comparison to older people. Having the ablility to jump, run, climb and go everywhere with less commitment towards a bigger family creates a great ability inside to enjoy life more and more. But on the contrary, older people are usually facing phisical and sometimes mental disorders that might prevent them form enjoying their lifes. My grandfather, for example, started to have some special condition in which he had to use a wheelchair in order to move around. I did see how he suffered from that sitaution which for sure he did not enjoy at all.
However, as the famous saying goes: "a coin has two sides" Elders know how to react to daily problems and conditions in a way that will have the least effect to their happiness. This is mainly because of their background information gained through experience and the long life-time learnings. For instance, my elder uncle faced much problems in his private life, but he knows exactly how to handle them to solve his problems fast and efficient. I do remember when he had reached the point that his investments were going to be lost due to a trade he made, a situation in which I would sell everything to not loose more, but instead he kept the trade and investment by his creativity and experience and was succesful in his trade. This sample situation would have brought me much tension and stress for some years if I were him with my own experience and background. But he simpley passed it and enjoyed his life even more.
To have a conclusion, the young people enjoy their life becuase of their higher phisical abilities but in the same time the older people enjoy their life because of their mental abilities and experience. So the both groups do enjoy their life at the same amount.
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| 2023-02-11 | Muggle1313 | 70 | view |
| 2023-02-11 | Muggle1313 | 70 | view |
| 2023-02-11 | Muggle1313 | 70 | view |
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Thank you for your comment. If this essay did not have the flaw of spelling errors, how much would its score be?
I would sell everything to not loose more,
I would sell everything to not lose more,
Sentence: Every person enjoys his/her life, the bigest present honored to human beings.
Error: bigest Suggestion: biggest
Sentence: Having the ablility to jump, run, climb and go everywhere with less commitment towards a bigger family creates a great ability inside to enjoy life more and more.
Error: ablility Suggestion: ability
Sentence: But on the contrary, older people are usually facing phisical and sometimes mental disorders that might prevent them form enjoying their lifes.
Error: phisical Suggestion: physical
Sentence: My grandfather, for example, started to have some special condition in which he had to use a wheelchair in order to move around.
Error: wheelchair Suggestion: wheel chair
Sentence: I did see how he suffered from that sitaution which for sure he did not enjoy at all.
Error: sitaution Suggestion: situation
Sentence: I do remember when he had reached the point that his investments were going to be lost due to a trade he made, a situation in which I would sell everything to not loose more, but instead he kept the trade and investment by his creativity and experience and was succesful in his trade.
Error: succesful Suggestion: successful
Sentence: But he simpley passed it and enjoyed his life even more.
Error: simpley Suggestion: simply
Sentence: To have a conclusion, the young people enjoy their life becuase of their higher phisical abilities but in the same time the older people enjoy their life because of their mental abilities and experience.
Error: becuase Suggestion: because
Error: phisical Suggestion: physical
flaws:
No. of Spelling Errors: 9 2
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 23 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 9 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 403 350
No. of Characters: 1863 1500
No. of Different Words: 212 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.48 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.623 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.35 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 116 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 78 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 52 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 38 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.389 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.478 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.611 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.318 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.496 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.171 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5