The following report appeared in the newsletter of the West Meria Public Health Council. "An innovative treatment has come to our attention that promises to significantly reduce absenteeism in our schools and workplaces. A study reports that in nearby East Meria, where fish consumption is very high, people visit the doctor only once or twice per year for the treatment of colds. Clearly, eating a substantial amount of fish can prevent colds. Since colds represent the most frequently given reason for absences from school and work, we recommend the daily use of Ichthaid—a nutritional supplement derived from fish oil—as a good way to prevent colds and lower absenteeism."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
In the given passage a report from the West Meria Public Health Council has presented. In this a treatment is proposed to prevent colds and lower absenteeism. According to the report high fish consumption leads to lesser number of cold suffering patients. It is reported that cold is the major cause of absences from school and work. So author has recommended the use of Ichthaid—a nutritional supplement derived from fish oil.
Firstly, as per the study report, the areas where people eats more fish , the number of patients suffering from cold are less. Here author has made an assumption that fish and its nutrients are responsible for this and they are able to prevent the cold. The author's assumption seems to be weaken without reasonable considerations. There may be several factors like healthy atmosphere, availability of other healthy food, awareness of health issues in that particular area which would have been responsible for lesser number of patients.
Secondly, author is suggesting that by eating large amount of fish, people can develop immunity from cold. More investigation should be conducted in that area to find out the factors which are responsible to cure the diseases from cold and to make the argument more stronger. Further in the argument it is supposed that cold is the major reason for absences from school and work, which is not acceptable and justifiable. More statistics of absences and detail study of their causes should be mentioned to make the argument acceptable to all.
For prevention from cold and to curtail the number of absenteeism, author has suggested the use of Ichthaid, which is derived from fish oil. Here question arises that is it necessary that only this nutrient is responsible for preventing the cold? What about other nutritions and proteins present in the fish? It would have been possible that protein provided by the eating of fish develops immunity against cold, then whether this Ichthaid will be able to fulfill this criteria ? All the questionable premises should be answered cogently to strengthen the argument.
So to assume that only eating of fish is the treatment for prevent the cold and to reduce the number of absenteeism is not appropriate. More detailed investigation should be done to find out the treatments and prevention of cold and cogently they should be mentioned in the passage to make it more justifiable.
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Sentence: So to assume that only eating of fish is the treatment for prevent the cold and to reduce the number of absenteeism is not appropriate.
Description: The token for is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to for and prevent
to make the argument more stronger.
to make the argument much stronger.
argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- not really
argument 3 -- OK
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 394 350
No. of Characters: 1958 1500
No. of Different Words: 171 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.455 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.97 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.697 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 142 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 104 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 81 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 47 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.7 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.596 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.3 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.333 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.528 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.045 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5