The following appeared in a memo from the director of student housing at Buckingham College.
"To serve the housing needs of our students, Buckingham College should build a number of new dormitories. Buckingham's enrollment is growing and, based on current trends, will double over the next 50 years, thus making existing dormitory space inadequate. Moreover, the average rent for an apartment in our town has risen in recent years. Consequently, students will find it increasingly difficult to afford off-campus housing. Finally, attractive new dormitories would make prospective students more likely to enroll at Buckingham."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
This argument is about the number of dormitories in Buckingham College and some hypotheses about increasing the number of them to attract more students. The idea of the provision of extra dormitories by Buckingham college might prove to be advantageous to students in certain ways but not always. The argument made by the director of student housing at Buckingham College though somewhat is persuasive, cannot be accurate because it is based on several flaws.
According to the first assumption of the director of student housing at Buckingham College “ To serve the housing needs of our students, Buckingham College should build a number of new dormitories” and the enrollment in this college is on the rise and based on current trends, will increase over the next 50 years, so the space of the existing dormitory is not adequate. The question is that based on which figures the director claim this assumption and how he can predict the increase of the enrollment trend. What weakens this argument is the lack of statistical data which can prove this trend. How does he know the number of enrollments will increase? If the number of students will decrease, what the officials want to do with an extra room which has been built and they are vacant. How does he know the number of enrollments will increase? If the number of students will decrease, what the officials want to do with extra rooms which have been built and they are vacant. What do they want to do with financial losses? The is no answer to these questions.
Based on the second assumption “the average rent for an apartment in our town has risen in recent years. Consequently, students will find it increasingly difficult to afford off-campus housing.” Again, there is no statistical evidence about this subject. How can he predict the increasing trend of the average rent in the upcoming year? The amount of rent in the new year may decrease, and the rent of the apartment becomes more affordable for students and their families. Additionally, how he knows all students will find it difficult to afford off-campus housing. Some rich families may help their children to rent a house or apartment in the city of the university.
Finally, the director of student housing at Buckingham College claims that “attractive new dormitories would make prospective students more likely to enroll at Buckingham.” The question is that the only factor of attraction of students is to build new dormitories. The director fails to consider other important factors in attracting students, including quality education, the facilities provided for students and enough number of good professors for them. Each student has his/her factors for choosing the university, therefore the director in order to strengthen his argument should consider all of them.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
argument 1 --not OK
argument 2 -- not OK
argument 3 -- OK
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 2.0 out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 463 350
No. of Characters: 2290 1500
No. of Different Words: 190 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.639 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.946 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.694 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 163 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 135 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 101 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 57 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.13 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.164 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.435 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.317 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.495 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.163 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 290, Rule ID: ADVERB_WORD_ORDER[3]
Message: The adverb 'always' is usually not used at the end of a sentence.
...ous to students in certain ways but not always. The argument made by the director of s...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, consequently, finally, first, if, may, second, so, then, therefore
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 19.6327345309 87% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 17.0 12.9520958084 131% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 11.1786427146 98% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 13.6137724551 51% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 31.0 28.8173652695 108% => OK
Preposition: 71.0 55.5748502994 128% => OK
Nominalization: 17.0 16.3942115768 104% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2372.0 2260.96107784 105% => OK
No of words: 463.0 441.139720559 105% => OK
Chars per words: 5.12311015119 5.12650576532 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.63868890866 4.56307096286 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.92520670103 2.78398813304 105% => OK
Unique words: 198.0 204.123752495 97% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.427645788337 0.468620217663 91% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 718.2 705.55239521 102% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 4.96107784431 20% => OK
Article: 10.0 8.76447105788 114% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 19.7664670659 106% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 76.5192015681 57.8364921388 132% => OK
Chars per sentence: 112.952380952 119.503703932 95% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.0476190476 23.324526521 95% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.38095238095 5.70786347227 59% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.20758483034 134% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.313260689937 0.218282227539 144% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0889699993154 0.0743258471296 120% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.10997293761 0.0701772020484 157% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.20731330713 0.128457276422 161% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0885849513462 0.0628817314937 141% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.7 14.3799401198 95% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 49.15 48.3550499002 102% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.197005988 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.42 12.5979740519 99% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.69 8.32208582834 92% => OK
difficult_words: 87.0 98.500998004 88% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 12.3882235529 109% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.