Is talent show a good method of finding talented people or just an entertainment? (rewrite)

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Is talent show a good method of finding talented people or just an entertainment? (rewrite)

Worldwide attention goes into TV talent shows. For some people, this is a good way to find star quality. For some others, this is for the purpose of entertainment. Both views have strong arguments. However, I believe this is a design to please the talented people starting their career.

To begin with, this show selects the contestants in almost all big cities in Indonesia freely. The zero charge of selection registration allows as many people as possible to take a part. There are thousands of participants who join contestant selection of some talented shows in each big city every year. Then, from those big numbers, there are only around 2 among them chosen. It cannot be doubted that the more people joining this selection, the bigger the chance to find those best.

Furthermore, this selection is opened to all people without limiting their social and economy status. This competition is not only joined by high economy class singer, but also by many portmanteaus. It cannot be denied that talented people are possible coming from not only rich family but also vice versa. Veri AFI, a young man who was an impoverished man, previously spent his time to sing around traffic lamp to earn money, but nowadays he has become a great start.

In addition, the involvement of experienced jurists in this process maintains the reliability of the assessment and bolsters the excellence of input. For instance, Indonesian Idol employs Anang Hermansyah who is a top singer of Indonesia to select the best finalists to join that competition.

After selected, those finalists are trained to be the professional ones. To produce a high quality output, they are facilitated with many great trainers, sophisticated training tools and even luxurious homestay. It is generally believed that the quality and the completeness of learning facilities and facilitators determine the success of a training.

Then, every week, the learning progress is examined through a fantastic show which is broadcasted by a television station. Not only jurists but also the watchers involve in the rating process. To intensify the training, jurists eliminate the lowest rated contestant every week. Citra Idol who was successful to keep going until the last show in Indonesian Idol has already made a good own career as a famous singer after finishing their contract with particular TV station.

From this long process, the entertainment aspect is only visible in the show step. So, it is hardly to judge that this event emphasizes not in recruitment process. To conclude, it proves illusory that talented show is more entertaining rather than finding out talented people.

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the more people joining this selection, the bigger the chance to find those best.
the more people join this selection, the bigger the chance they find the best.

Sentence: To intensify the training, jurists eliminate the lowest rated contestant every week.
Description: An adjective is not usually followed by an article
Suggestion: Refer to contestant and every

Sentence: To produce a high quality output, they are facilitated with many great trainers, sophisticated training tools and even luxurious homestay.
Error: homestay Suggestion: ?

flaws:
Avg. Sentence Length: 16.577 21.0

Duplicate words or sentences. Look:
No. of Words: 431 while No. of Different Words: 238

Attribute Value Ideal
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No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 26 15
No. of Words: 431 350
No. of Characters: 2158 1500
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